Grief, Trauma and Loss

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Addressing Grief and Loss
There is no doubt that life tests us all and many of us face more challenges than others - there often seems to be neither rhyme nor reason that we can fathom to explain this. Grief is certainly something that all of us are going to have to face in one form or another in our lifetime and many as well face trauma in their lives. It can come about through many situations. Some examples could be the loss of a loved one, even the loss of a pet, loss of a job, moving to another town or city, business failure, a friend moving on to another town or city, a broken relationship, a child changing schools, your own children growing up ... the list could go on. Many of us don't know how to handle grief nor do we know what to tell others - this E-report, although long, is an attempt to help.
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Eventually We All Die
In the normal course of events Death is not something that occupies our thoughts very much, and is often a topic that is avoided. However we all live with the knowledge that our time on Earth is finite and nobody gets out alive. Eventually we all face Death and along the path of Life, Death can strike indiscriminately. Sometimes people can reach a mature age with the only death they have ever had to face being the death of say an elderly grandparent or even the death of a beloved pet.
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More on Grief and Loss a Free E-Book Offer for You
I have written a small book titled Addressing Grief and Loss, in response to very many requests for help with this vexing issue. This electronic book is available free, as a service to you and your friends. The book is my attempt to be of assistance in a very emotional area. In it I have firstly related my personal experience of grief and loss, and then have gone on to offer some different strategies which have come out of this experience. I have taken the liberty of reproducing questions that I have been asked with my answers (no holds barred). Please know that this small book, coming from my experience, does not attempt to be or to provide a definitive answer to everyone's grief issues, however it does offer a way forward. It often takes a crisis before we discover our inner strength. When faced with grief and loss, we can allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the pain, or we can choose to work through it and grow from the experience. Going through the emotions associated with grief and loss is a normal part of the grieving process and it is necessary to reconcile ourselves in some way so that we can move on from the experience to become a better, stronger person with a greater sense of purpose in life as a result.
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Overcoming Grief and Loss
Grief & loss bring out a range of complex emotions - including disbelief, shock, anger, hatred, guilt, loss of faith, fear of the future, loneliness, regret. Understand the underlying process of these emotions and natural healing techniques to help deal with grief, grief depression, and overcoming grief & loss.
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The Journey Of Moving Through Trauma
I was going through my “Ideas” file two weeks ago and came upon an Article which was published in The Sunday Telegraph on July 15, 2007. It was written by Kelly Baker, and you know, it could have been written by me! Here it is.
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When Someone Dies
Some time ago I asked those who receive this E-Report for suggested topics for the E-Report. One suggestion was ' 'Advice for people as to what to tell others of a death'. The suggestion came from a gentleman whom I told about his own father's death some years ago. His father was a close friend of mine and a work colleague ' he died in Sydney of an aneurism. His son was only about 11 at the time I think and he followed my footsteps into the army and became an officer in the Corps of Engineers ' my Corps.
Are there any other books you can recommend which deal with grief?

Are there any other books you can recommend which deal with grief

Here are the names of some books that may be helpful with grief (along with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's books, which are some of the best-known ones). "Life After Life" mentioned below, has an Introduction by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:

Name of Book Author ISBN #

Coping with Grief Mal McKissock 0-7333-0236-X
Life After Life Raymond A Moody, Jr., MD 0-553-24452-3
Life After Death Neville Randall 0-552-11487-1
Everyone's Guide to the Hereafter Ken Akehurst through G.M. Roberts 0-85435-414-X
The Awakening Heart Betty J. Eadie 0-671-55878-1

How can I cope with extreme grief?

How can I cope with extreme grief

I encourage people to talk about their grief and about their Loved Ones. "Forgetting" about events is almost impossible and in many cases not even desirable.  There is no doubt that life tests us all and many of us go through more than others - there often seems to be neither rhyme nor reason that we can fathom.  Hatred and anger can be destructive forces in our lives I believe that they can be addressed and "worked through".  When facing any adversity, I believe that it is extremely important to discuss it and work with what is at hand.  Not talking about it is the worst thing one can do, because this can lead to the subconscious mind handling it with nightmares, hot sweats, unexplained anger, irrational action and PTSD.  The emotion around the event is what actually causes the memory of the event. If bringing the negative event to mind causes pain in the way of anger, hostility, blame, hurt etc, then one is hurting oneself. For instance whenever I think of my daughters I may be guilty of thinking, momentarily, of their horrific death but I now immediately replace the negative thought with fond, loving memories.

My book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" may be helpful. You can read about it and see the first couple of chapters on this website.

I am really struggling with my attachment to my ex-partner. I have purchased your tapes, but i can't recall all of the topics - is one of those useful for learning to 'let go'? I seem to be quite stuck- any thoughts?

I am really struggling with my attachment to my ex-partner. I have purchased your tapes, but i can't recall all of the topics - is one of those useful for learning to 'let go'? I seem to be quite stuck- any thoughts?

I don't have a specific tape for letting go, however 2 thoughts come to mind. The first is that we really don't need the love of another person to happily survive, if we love ourselves enough - the tape (or CD) PP13 - Inner Peace & Harmony is the tape that really addresses this area (sometimes I recommend the tape (or CD) PP10 - Self Worth & Confidence when I perceive this to be the issue).

The second thought that comes to mind is that the process of letting go was discussed and observed in the film "A Leap of Faith" during the seminar and we saw how Debbie actually "said" to her dead parents that she needs to let them go to get on with her life (I've just realised that you haven't done the seminar yet). I actually address this in the book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" so perhaps this book may be an avenue of assistance.

After understanding both the above processes, make a decision to let go and then actually bring the person into your mind during meditation - send all your love to that person "for the highest good of all concerned" and then say "I now let you go" - do this several times. A meditation tape (or CD) that you could play while doing this is PP5 - Meditation.

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