Forgiveness
Story from Joe
The background is that Joe's father left home when Joe was about two years old — that is just after the birth of his brother. Joe felt that his mother never loved him. Even his earliest memories, when he was eight or nine years old, he can remember staying out of the house as long as possible so that he wasn't verbally abused and put down by his mother. His brother was the pet. Always as Joe grew up, he could never do anything right. He often would recall being told by his mother that he would never be any good, no matter what he did. Joe never saw his father.
When Joe was about fifteen years old he left home, never to return. He did see his mother and brother for the next three years, when he would once again be abused and told that he was hopeless. Joe hated his mother and at the same time needed and craved her approval. Thirteen more years passed and Joe has seen neither his mother nor his father, nor his brother. He did however know the whereabouts of his father and that his brother had got married.
At the CHI Seminar when huge issues came up, Joe said to me that he still craves his mother's approval and he thought that he would never be any good until he had it. We talked about this and it came up that Joe said that he would be "racing off the property" if he knew his mother was on it. In other words, he could not even bear the thought of seeing or confronting his mother — such was his fear.
We chatted about the circumstances of his father leaving and one of the possible scenarios discussed was that his father doted on Joe and when he left the failed marriage, his mother really took it out on Joe.
This helped Joe in meditation to be able to visualise that his mother was on a ship at sea and that he was on another ship, as they passed. Gradually the ships passed closer and closer to each other until he was able to sight his mother. He took this a stage further and visualised passing his mother on the beach, while she was swimming in the water.
Over the next six months Joe met and talked to his dad and his brother. Another twelve months went by and Joe met with his mother. It was a very strained meeting, however progress was made. In his own words this is what he is now visualising: "I picture my mum standing a few feet away. I shake her hand. I give her a hug, look into her eyes and say 'I love you'. After I do this I am completely drained of energy, I fall asleep for half an hour. It sucks huge amounts of energy".
Forgiveness
Story from B.T, NSW
My awareness of the thoughts of Sandy MacGregor's accelerated learning techniques started with a talk back session on ABC radio early in 1995. I had just started my Advanced Diploma in Accountancy through the Port Macquarie TAFE, and at almost 42 was totally overwhelmed by the course outline.... unaware also of the complex strategy needed to effectively study.
Totally daunted by the fact that the majority of the class were straight out of high school, I wondered, what was I doing thinking I could study Accountancy, after all, not only did I not know how to use the new financial calculator, I had to admit to the class that calculators were unheard of when I last did any study. What had I put myself in for!!
The interview with Sandy started and within minutes he started to talk about the fact that you could actually trick your mind into loving a subject, thereby passing it with flying colours. I listened attentively when Sandy gave a contact number for his work. I quickly wrote it down and rang up wanting to know more.
Sandy rang back the next day and spoke to me, about his techniques. Later that week I received some information on his seminars and tapes. I put the letter away as I didn't have the spare cash to attend or buy any tapes at that moment. So ended the idea of accelerated learning, or so I thought.
Close to a year later, I had gone to Sydney to see the Phantom of the Opera. Before I had to go home, I went with the person who accompanied me to the Opera, to Dymocks book shop in George Street, where I came across Piece of Mind. The shop assistant told me I would have to send away for the tapes as she didn't have the ones that related to the work in the book.
On the 5 hour journey back to Port Macquarie I read the book and was reminded of the conversation on talk back radio the year earlier. I sent away for the tapes, and a couple of days later I listened intently to the methods of Sandy's, still not fully understanding how it all worked.
But alas, fate does work in strange and mysterious ways. In June 1996, after a couple of very heavy emotional scenes pertaining to many parts of my life, my friend and I parted company. It hadn't been a particularly fulfilling relationship on my part, as my instinct tried to tell me that I was trying to find a duplicate to the man that had totally swept me off my feet almost 4 years earlier. After saying what needed to be said, my friend was of the opinion that my trouble with personal relationships stemmed from the fact that I had not really dealt with issues left over from my previous involvement, like the fact the messages on my mind machines were saying that I was always the loser in the game of love. The day we said goodbye, he handed me a brown paper bag, in it was "Switch on to Your Inner Strength" uncanny just a little.
I began reading, then when I got to the part concerning forgiveness, the penny dropped. I had never really forgiven myself or others through my life. Even though I went to church and thought I had asked for forgiveness of my many failings, they were really empty words deep in my subconscious, and it was holding me back in every part of my life. Unfortunately because I had been a single parent for 8 years, this holding back was having an effect not just on myself, but on my children as well, I was going through the actions of studying to improve my life style but there wasn't a fullness of life, and that worried me.
On the 14th of September, I did the weekend workshop on creative accelerated learning. Full of enthusiasm, I joined in with the discussions, and on the Sunday went into what I believe my deepest meditation ever. While I was meditating two things came prominently to my mind, the first was a message from my father who had died 4½ years earlier, and the other was that I must let go and accept the decision of the man that I had loved with my whole heart and soul for 4 years. These two messages were also in the form of the fact that I was to make a special quilt and write the story of it, and then I would be on the right track to know how to let go completely.
Well, I did these two things, and things started to change. I was to enrol the service of a very competent counsellor in family therapy, and together we worked at my fear of letting go, my fear of being rejected, pushed away, and misunderstood, and my need to feel things are finished before I can take a step forward. By the end of the year I really felt that I had completely dealt with my fears, learned how to forgive from a subconscious level, and was well on my way to knowing and understanding the importance of truly letting go.
In January, I moved back to Sydney with my children in the hope that I would obtain employment in July when my studies are finished. I continue to meditate almost daily, and my last semester studies have taken a completely different course. All the things that were in the full front of my mind were now, through my understanding of how my inner strength works, deliberately being controlled and not hindering my ability to achieve good results, particularly in the subjects that I feared most. The best example of this would be the way that in Business Maths and Statistics I've gone from a failed student in my first semester to an 'A' student this semester in Financial Management Principals (which if you know anything about accountancy is a complex maths subject full of formulas, ratios, analysing.) I know that it is because I was opened to the understanding of how the mind operates.
I hope this testimony will be of use to you in any further research into the understanding of the mind.
Forgiveness
Story from ??
I use my Peaceful Place very frequently, it helps me with stress, emotional pain, fear and guilt. It helped me to heal from a serious ski injury, from arthritis of the shoulder and from a recent bout of chest 'flu . However, the thing I wanted to tell you most was something remarkable, which happened to me on the second day of your seminar. To give a little background information - I am the eldest child of a very dysfunctional family, riddled with addiction and alcoholism for generations. I married an alcoholic and we had years of struggle until we both found Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon and the wonderful 12 Step Programmes, which your teachings compliment. Anyway as part of her emotional and spiritual sickness, my mother was a martyr, and martyrs acquire their power by making everyone feel extreme guilt. I had unresolved anger towards my mother who died a few years ago. One of my obsessions in life was to be the perfect parent, my parents never were, and to stop the cycles of addiction that have gone on so long in my family. I am especially fearful that my children will become alcoholics and addicts (and the pain will start all over again) despite all the effort I have gone to, to stop the crippling messages and dysfunction in my family, and to lead positive, empowering lifestyles filled with unconditional love!
When we did the last meditation session in your seminar, my aim was to 'let my children go' (they are 21 and 24 years old!) and not to worry about them like I do (they really are very good and very successful in their lives at this stage!) However before we began that last session you showed us a very moving film - the name of which escapes me - about the woman dying of cancer, as her mother had before her, and her husband, played by Sam Neil, was insisting she see a doctor to help her heal herself. She went off to the cemetery all night to speak with her dead parents.. This really struck a chord with me and I realised that I needed to work on forgiving my mother (I had already had the opportunity to forgive my father for his terrible rages, before he died.) Anyway, in our meditation session with you, instead of working on letting my children go as I had planned, I communicated with my mother. I finally accepted that she had done the best she could with where she was at, at the time and I forgave her for all the hurt that I had felt in our relationship. No sooner had I done that, than I realised that I too have always done the best I could as a parent and I can forgive myself for my perceived failures as a mother. Having done that I could then 'let my children go', because it is no longer necessary for me to hold onto them to 'fix' the damage I may have incurred! What was so surprising to me was that it all fell together like dominoes in that one meditation session! Shortly afterwards, on my mother's birthday, I felt her come and stand beside me in the forest and acknowledge the forgiveness. Thank you very much Sandy.
Unconditional Love
Story from A.M. Tas.
I can not believe how far I've come and yet I know there's much more. So much has happened but the most significant thing is this. You may or may not remember that I recently wrote (or emailed) asking WHY "Love" as well as "
Acceptance" and "
Forgiveness". I understood acceptance and forgiveness but could not come to terms with "loving" the offender/perpetrator. I simply was unable to get past the personality to the Divine in them. I listened to the "
Unconditional Love" CD every day and thought about this for some time. Then one day, during meditation, the answer came ... "Love restores the soul" ! I should have known because how many times in the Christian tradition have we heard the 23rd Psalm, ie. "... He restores my soul" ! Also what about "... love your enemies" ? More food for thought, or rather meditation. So at the moment that's where I'm at and I expect it could take some time, as well as some specific action (goals), before it's worked through. But that's OK. Can't say how much I'm looking forward to coming to CHI.
Negative experiences - handling and working through
Story from Name & Location withheld
My parents divorced when I was 2 and during school holidays I would stay with my father who used to molest me. This happened throughout my childhood until I stopped going to visit him and chose to stay away. I never told anybody as I felt too confused and ashamed. I married at 27 and when I was 30 my grandmother visited from overseas and talked a lot about my dad. This must have acted as a trigger and after she left I told my mother what had happened and to my amazement she didn't believe me and told me never to speak of it again. Although they had been divorced for many years, she couldn't cope. For the next 5 years I was so
angry with her and did everything possible to punish her and push her away. I finally realised that by carrying this resentment towards her it was locking me into a negative state and I was losing too. So I worked through all of that,
forgave her, and felt more at peace with my past. Coming to your seminar helped me to discover and unlock some of the obstacles that were lurking within me unexpressed.
Healing past hurts
Story from M.M. NZ
I am a teacher who attended your two day seminar a while ago and found it tremendously beneficial. I have done considerable research on the wonders of the human brain myself and wrote my MA thesis on 'How the Right Brain is Neglected in Education Today'. Never-the-less I learned so much more from you. Recently I went to a teacher's seminar in Prague on 'Using the Latest Brain Research in Education', taken by Dr Pat Wolfe. You have already covered most of what she taught in your book, 'Students Steps to Success' which I read this weekend and feel as if I had just had a Sandy MacGregor Refresher course!
I have shared your stories and teachings with many of my students and many of my friends, including two who are professional counsellors. I want you to know that I use my Peaceful Place very frequently, it helps me with stress, emotional pain, fear and guilt. It helped me to heal from a serious ski injury, from arthritis of the shoulder and from a recent bout of chest 'flu.
I wanted to tell you - and you may use it in your newsletter if you wish - something remarkable, which happened to me on the second day of your seminar. To give a little background information - I am the eldest child of a very dysfunctional family, riddled with addiction and alcoholism for generations. I married an alcoholic and we had years of struggle until we both found Alcoholics Anonymous. My mother was a martyr, who died a few years ago - I had a lot of unresolved anger towards her. One of my obsessions in life was to be the perfect parent, my parents never were, and to stop the cycles of addiction that have gone on so long in my family. I am especially fearful that my children will become alcoholics and addicts (and the pain will start all over again) despite all the effort I have gone to, to stop the crippling messages and dysfunction in my family, and to lead positive, empowering lifestyles filled with unconditional love!
When we did the last meditation session in your seminar, my aim was to 'let my children go' (they are 21 and 24 years old!) and not to worry about them like I do (they really are very good and very successful in their lives at this stage!) However before we began that last session - with the story about the woman dying of cancer, as her mother had before her, (and her husband was insisting she see a doctor to help her heal herself) - she went off to the cemetery all night to speak with her dead parents - this really struck a chord with me. I realised that I needed to work on forgiving my mother (I had already had the opportunity to forgive my father for his terrible rages, before he died.)
Anyway, in our meditation session with you, instead of working on letting my children go as I had planned, I communicated with my mother. I finally accepted that she had done the best she could with where she was at, at the time and I forgave her for all the hurt that I had felt in our relationship. No sooner had I done that, than I realised that I too have always done the best I could as a parent and I can forgive myself for my perceived failures as a mother. Having done that I could then 'let my children go', because it is no longer necessary for me to hold onto them to 'fix' the damage I may have incurred! What was so surprising to me was that it all fell together like dominoes in that one meditation session!
Shortly afterwards, on my mother's birthday, I felt her come and stand beside me in the forest and acknowledge the forgiveness. I don't know if all that I have written here makes sense to you, but thank you very much anyway Sandy, and I hope that I have the opportunity to meet with you again as I admire and agree with what you do. I will keep an eye on when and where your seminars occur and I will try and attend them again.
Unconditional Love
I can not believe how far I've come and yet I know there's much more. So much has happened but the most significant thing is this. You may or may not remember that I recently wrote (or emailed) asking WHY "Love" as well as "Acceptance" and "Forgiveness". I understood acceptance and forgiveness but could not come to terms with "loving" the offender/perpetrator. I simply was unable to get past the personality to the Divine in them. I listened to the "Unconditional Love" CD every day and thought about this for some time. Then one day, during meditation, the answer came ... "Love restores the soul" ! I should have known because how many times in the Christian tradition have we heard the 23rd Psalm, ie. "... He restores my soul" ! Also what about "... love your enemies" ? More food for thought, or rather meditation. So at the moment that's where I'm at and I expect it could take some time, as well as some specific action (goals), before it's worked through. But that's OK. Can't say how much I'm looking forward to coming to CHI. A.M. Tas.
forgiveness and much more
Attending your recent CALM seminar was most worthwhile and an upbeat attitude remains with me. A quiet life changing shift has become evident in me.
Firstly Sandy, I love the example of how you are carrying out your life's purpose. What better goal could there be than to facilitate a positive shift in human consciousness? Just what our sad planet desperately needs right now.
I now find I'm beginning to take steps towards a more balanced way of life. This has totally eluded me in the past. Chance encounters and helpful possibilities are appearing out of nowhere!
The most marked improvement has been in my ability to finally be able to address self criticism and I'm beginning to also deflect 'put downs'. I'm shelving things that no longer serve my well being. I still have a battle with addictions - nothing major, but now at least I have a few more tools to help me. Overall, I'm almost a new person, one I can happily and peacefully spend the rest of my time with on earth!
Another most unexpected plus from attending the workshop is that I feel more at peace with the memory of my father-in-law. I forgive him for not having the same outlook on life as me. Hope HE has forgiven ME. An issue that surfaced which really surprised me.
Just this week I was able to join an animal welfare action that took a lot of courage. The inspection group I joined (included an 80 yo from Queensland!) was something I would never in a million years have believed I could face. Thank you Sandy.
It was a great relief to hear your "na-na noonoo" words and I sincerely thank you for your honesty and for sharing with us. I believe everything you espouse in that regard. The segment on my hero from way back, surgeon Bernie Siegel, really topped it all off! Yes, we are all on a spiritual journey.
Lastly, I have added the two wake -up exercises to my list of favourites and will do them regularly from now on.
Hope you keep fit and well and continue on with your inspiring work for many years to come.
In gratitude, love and light, C.M, Tas.
all being linked
I am thinking about what you said about us all being linked. I began to forgive my mother and family somewhat during the course of growing. When I arrived home my mother had sent me a birthday card..first one ever that I can remember and one of my sisters had phoned on the day. Of course i was still in sydney but I wonder did they sense a shift in my conciousness. A few days ago I wrote a chatty letter to my mother and was surprised that I actually felt 'unresentful' and quite warm. Hmmm? H.J. SA
talked about unconditional LOVE
Your session on the first day when you asked about what would you do if you had 6 months etc… to live. Wow, I couldn’t hold in the pain and burst out crying. You asked “Did I want to share anything with the group?” I did, which is not easy for me. But I was so glad I did. THANK YOU.
You talked about unconditional LOVE (which I have heard before) but it all started to become clearer. I was pleased the morning you asked about one word that described how we felt. “CLEARER” just came to me. The CDs about “Letting Go”, Unconditional Love”, and “Loving Yourself” … Wow ! Tears rolled down my eyes and I realised what was happening. I forgave my brother-in-law, sister and myself. S.A. NSW.
Do you know what I did?
I want to thank you so much for opening my eyes, opening my heart, soul and most importantly teaching me to understand my mind and myself. Last week I felt my world as I knew it was gone and felt it was all my fault was and I was so low that I even thought about ending my life by suicide. This was selfish of me but I didn’t know how to cope or understand my life so felt I might be better off dead.
After the weekend seminar I have learnt more about my mind, body and my being than I have in my 56 years of life. When my husband left he told me it was all my fault and that he had told me to see a psychiatrist, a doctor and get some medication for my problems. Do you know what I did? I forgave him and myself for the failure in our marriage and I have let go of the guilt that I have felt for most of my life for not being good enough. I feel I have a future now. MD, NSW
about us all being linked
Here is a quick story about a lady who had either negative or no relationship with her mother for more 50 years and a bad one with a sister. She has written to me “I am thinking about what you said about us all being linked". I began to forgive my mother and family somewhat during the course – I have continued this. When I arrived home my mother had sent me a birthday card - first one ever that I can remember and my sister had phoned on the day. Of course I was still in Sydney but I wonder did they sense a shift in my consciousness. A few days ago I wrote a chatty letter to my mother and was surprised that I actually felt 'unresentful' and quite warm. I went to visit my mother two weeks ago and when I was leaving she gave me such a heartfelt, strong hug. First one for almost as long as I can remember. H.J. SA
as a parent and I can forgive myself
Something remarkable happened to me on the second day of your seminar. To give a little background information - I am the eldest child of a very dysfunctional family, riddled with addiction and alcoholism for generations. I married an alcoholic and we had years of struggle until we both found Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon and the wonderful 12 Step Programmes, which your teachings compliment. Anyway as part of her emotional and spiritual sickness, my mother was a martyr, and martyrs acquire their power by making everyone feel extreme guilt. I had unresolved anger towards my mother who died a few years ago. One of my obsessions in life was to be the perfect parent, my parents never were, and to stop the cycles of addiction that have gone on so long in my family. I am especially fearful that my children will become alcoholics and addicts (and the pain will start all over again) despite all the effort I have gone to, to stop the crippling messages and dysfunction in my family, and to lead positive, empowering lifestyles filled with unconditional love!
When we did the last meditation session in your seminar, my aim was to 'let my children go' (they are 21 and 24 years old!) and not to worry about them like I do (they really are very good and very successful in their lives at this stage!) However before we began that last session you showed us a very moving film - the name of which escapes me - about the woman dying of cancer, as her mother had before her, and her husband, played by Sam Neil, was insisting she see a doctor to help her heal herself. She went off to the cemetery all night to speak with her dead parents. This really struck a chord with me and I realised that I needed to work on forgiving my mother (I had already had the opportunity to forgive my father for his terrible rages, before he died.) Anyway, in our meditation session with you, instead of working on letting my children go as I had planned, I communicated with my mother. I finally accepted that she had done the best she could with where she was at, at the time and I forgave her for all the hurt that I had felt in our relationship. No sooner had I done that, than I realised that I too have always done the best I could as a parent and I can forgive myself for my perceived failures as a mother. Having done that I could then 'let my children go', because it is no longer necessary for me to hold onto them to 'fix' the damage I may have incurred! What was so surprising to me was that it all fell together like dominoes in that one meditation session! Shortly afterwards, on my mother's birthday, I felt her come and stand beside me in the forest and acknowledge the forgiveness. I don't know if all that I have written here makes sense to you, but thank you very much anyway Sandy. MM NZ
walk the journey
This is a note to tell you how much I am appreciating your CDs re Peaceful Place. The one on ‘Forgiveness’ and others too place the responsibility in our own hands to work towards making a difference to how we walk the journey. Well done! I also must acknowledge the interesting e-mails ‘Mind Matter News’ you send from time to time eg ‘PS to Christmas greetings’ and ‘Some things Fantastic and some Informative’. The account of the doctor about her near death or really near ‘transition’ experience was quite beautiful... It emphasises some thing that I often forget - that we are all in perfect and loving hands! Best wishes to you and Sandra. HM, NSW.
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