Improving Relationships

Handling Life - Success and the Unexpected

Have you tools to handle the unexpected? Today we are bombarded with a lot of advertising and so many options of how to spend our time and money. How can we possibly choose something that may truly be life changing or of enormous benefit to us personally? Are we indeed looking for something or does an offer just happen to pass in front of our line of vision – ‘so to speak’.

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Improving Relationships

Learn how to improve your relationship by understanding first how your emotions form and influence your Conscious and Subconscious Mind. The article details scientific discoveries concerning the subconscious mind and the mind/body connection which show us how we understand, manage, and can change, our relationship with other people and ourselves.

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Improving Relationships

Relationships are a huge issue in our lives - and throughout our life - relationships with our self and relationships with others. I have written in previous E-Reports about loving yourself, about sending your love and light, about forgiveness and about life's lessons ... all of these are key points in their application to relationships. To have successful relationships know that they begin with yourself. Know that nobody can convince you that you are special or you are loveable unless firstly you believe it yourself. So that's the first decision to make - to be that person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with ... it's a great goal isn't it? ..... to be the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with! You have no choice anyway, so let's make that the starting point.

Confrontations Handling

Story from I.J.

I use CALM to deal with confrontations. I find that I do not now lose control when confronted but instead I can choose the place and method in which to deal with confrontations, and by remaining calm and rational the outcome is positive.

Family

Story from H.V

Believing you can and just doing it seemed too easy - no catch, no conditions. The difference in my family's attitudes towards each other over this seminar weekend has been remarkable. The unity in our home tonight is very special - thank you Sandy.

Family

Story from J.T

After my alcoholic husband left me with 3 children, and very little money, I moved in with my brother, his wife and 2 children but by the end of a year it was too crowded so I rented a caravan and parked it on his vacant land. My sister rang me and told me about Piece of Mind and then I decided to attend your seminar. I applied what you taught and sent my husband love and also forgave him and "let go" of him. I also visualised that I owned a lovely big new home. A year later my husband rang me asking for another chance. I agreed - he hasn't had a drink in over a year, is a changed man, has a job, has bought a block of land and is building us a new home. All I can say for now is thank you to our Creator and thank you Sandy.

Family

Story from A.J

I've always felt tense and lived in a tense household. By using PP and baroque music I've learned to relax and be a more present parent and wife, having a more enjoyable relationship with husband and work environment.

Mothers

Story from J.T

Since completing Sandy’s Seminar, I have made a ‘career move’. I am no longer the harassed mother at the supermarket, come on you’ve all seen me! I am now the assertive, positive listener, creating a happy environment. My new career has taken on a new dimension, I am the “Supermum” I want to be, not the one society expects me to be. I am responding to my inner needs and expectations not society’s – mine are realistic goals set by me – I can only succeed.

Primarily, we teach by our actions, not words; by using the relaxation methods I am enrichening my life and theirs. I have come to realise how powerful positive parenting can be. My goal was so high it wasn’t immediately evident. I didn’t even think I had one, but it was sitting there waiting for me to grow into it. With the help of Sandy’s Seminar I have made my first step towards that goal by helping my children be at peace with themselves and each other. Imagine if we could create a generation, a worl d, to become at peace with themselves and each other, and we are all capable of that – now that’s an incredibly powerful thought.

My latest emotion of joy was locked into my subconscious when my 3 year old son said: ‘Mummy, I like you!’ I felt a great peace spread through me; suddenly I knew I already had what I was looking for and with new found positive approach I could really start to enjoy it.

Mothers

Story from M.M

I used and use PP to improve relationships and interaction in the family. The kids used to be able to bug me so much and trigger off an emotional reaction which only made the situation worse. Now by using CALM I can remain relaxed and deal with problems as they arise. However, now that I am more relaxed and don't react when the kids push me - they have stopped as they no longer get a reaction.

Mothers

Story from J.T

For the first time in years I actually got through a complete day without screaming at my children – both under 5. I calmed myself quickly by going into my Peaceful Place.

Mothers

Story from P.H

My 4 year old child had a nightmare. As soon as I picked him up I went to my PP to bring down my heart beat as I held him close to me. I know my calming effect transferred itself to my boy.

Grief - overcoming

Story from B.B. NSW

Hi Sandy - Being at my PP involves the warmth of the sun's rays through my body. That feeling was the signal of arriving at the Alpha point. It is now becoming a source of healing. Grief can be a confronting and lonely place. Going to my PP has reminded me of the person I have lost, where emotions have overwhelmed me and I sob ... again. However I've discovered that quick trips to my PP through the course of the day, feeling the sun's warmth, is like having a small drink of water after an anaesthesia. Not only does it offer a sense of relief to a difficult reality, but the sips are getting more frequent and longer, without the accompanying guilt for wanting to feel better, and without the urge to cry. I'm beginning to find a reassurance in my PP, moments of peace, moments of warmth, of comfort, of healing, - my Peaceful Place

Relationships - challenging

Story from B.B. NSW

My daughter and I went to visit my folks in the country for Christmas, and that is what has prompted me to write.
    The relationship with my parents is not an easy one. We are very different. There is a cultural difference, and our spiritual beliefs are different. My mother is a very anxious person, who can be a bit like some sort of a wind up gadget that takes forever to unwind and stop. This often happens as a result of the build up of us coming to visit, as it did this Christmas.
    Mum's unwinding involves non-stop chatter, that can cover an incredible amount of subject matter, in a short space of time, to be followed by many more rounds. Over the last few years my father has lost some of his hearing and my mother now speaks louder, and with a "do you understand me" quality. One morning as I listened to one of my mother's unwinding rounds,  I felt my head booming, with that same feeling you get when your teenager's music booms with too much bass.
    As I thought I'd like to turn down the sound this booming effect was felt in my chest, and it shocked me to think that this could be the beginning of an anxiety attack, something I had never experienced before. For a split second I felt fear...and then - I went to my 'Peaceful Place,' and you know what ( and you probably do know) I was back to normal within seconds!
    It was amazing!!!! I have used my peaceful place many a time to stop verbal reactions for instance, as well as for meditation etc. but I've never had to use it, and never expected to use it for such a physical thing. Truly amazing.

Handling Booming Effects

My daughter and I went to visit my folks in the country for Christmas, and that is what has prompted me to write.
    The relationship with my parents is not an easy one. We are very different. There is a cultural difference, and our spiritual beliefs are different. My mother is a very anxious person, who can be a bit like some sort of a wind up gadget that takes forever to unwind and stop. This often happens as a result of the build up of us coming to visit, as it did this Christmas.
    Mum's unwinding involves non-stop chatter, that can cover an incredible amount of subject matter, in a short space of time, to be followed by many more rounds. Over the last few years my father has lost some of his hearing and my mother now speaks louder, and with a "do you understand me" quality. One morning as I listened to one of my mother's unwinding rounds,  I felt my head booming, with that same feeling you get when your teenager's music booms with too much bass.
    As I thought I'd like to turn down the sound this booming effect was felt in my chest, and it shocked me to think that this could be the beginning of an anxiety attack, something I had never experienced before. For a split second I felt fear...and then - I went to my 'Peaceful Place,' and you know what ( and you probably do know) I was back to normal within seconds!
    It was amazing!!!! I have used my peaceful place many a time to stop verbal reactions for instance, as well as for meditation etc. but I've never had to use it, and never expected to use it for such a physical thing. Truly amazing. B.B. New South Wales

Teenage sons

Hi Sandy I am still using your active meditation tapes after 12 years and am very happy to see that they are now available on CD so I can load them to my ipod. I am currently teaching my teenage sons how to meditate especially for their study, so the study CD will be very useful. Thank you. CN, Vic.

breastfeeding

I told you sometime ago how much the birthing CD helped my wife during her labour (especially the colours)…and the benefits haven’t stopped. With our first 2 children she had problems with breastfeeding them as she reckoned she wasn’t providing enough of her milk. Now, with our third one, when she needs to manually express her milk she goes to her PP and imagines she has giant bottles by her side and she is filling them up. She is amazed as to how her body responds to the imagery as she just produces ‘buckets’ of the stuff! MM, ACT.

"father and son"

Thank you for the birthday wishes.

I have checked on my teenage nephew whom I brought to your seminar. His father told me that their "father and son" relationship has improved . Could it be that he has changed after attending the workshop? I'm sure that's what happened. D.N. NSW.

improvement in relationships – especially family

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind"   …   I read it a long time ago, but HOW to do it was the question? The great thing about Sandy MacGregor’s CALM "Life Skills" Seminar and "Creating Happiness Intentionally" seminar is it that it taught me HOW!
   I learned how to meditate, picture and imagine by using the senses and creating in my mind what Sandy calls a “Peaceful Place”. I learned how to expand my comfort zone and release stress; how to respond instead of react; how to improve memory; achieve acceptance and forgiveness and how to identify any obstacles which may be obstructing me from achieving my goals. And the really big one for me was how to deflect obstructions such as negative self talk, worry and anxiousness, fears and doubt, resentment, envy, guilt, prejudice, blame, disbelief, non-forgiveness and hatred. So many negatives, which I quickly recognised were baggage and in meditation could be released and replaced with positives such as love, peace and harmony.
   One practical example: While cycling in Sydney, I happened to pass by the War Memorial and two very helpful Veterans helped me to find information about my grandfather's WW1 history which I didn't previously know. On returning home, I got to thinking about the possibility of going to France and Belgium and locating his grave which I believe could help to bring closure to deep-seated grief in relation to my father and his father. With this in mind, in December 2010 at the suggestion of a friend who has also done Sandy’s Seminar, I completed Term 1 of Beginners French at U3A which I absolutely loved, intend to continue and which is helping me to stay focussed on my goal. A picture of the Eiffel Tower in my kitchen is also helping me to stay focussed!
   The positive upliftment experienced from applying CALM techniques to all areas of my life cannot be understated … improvement in relationships – especially family – achieving clarity, identifying priorities, a better understanding of unconditional love, more self confidence are just a few. I know challenges of the future, seen and unforseen, will best be overcome using CALM methods.
   Recently while cycling past a florist shop I saw a sign which read:
"we create our tomorrows by what we dream today"!
   I returned and bought it as a constant reminder, believing the best way to "dream" is in meditation.
   Thank you so much Sandy for the life-changing experience of, and your continuing commitment to, the extraordinary work of CALM. M.M. Tas

mostly to the self confidence CD

I had a fantastic birthday weekend, and was fortunate enough to get an abseiling adventure in Brisbane from my girlfriend!

Life is going well. It's been really busy since I've been back from Sydney. I have been meditating and going to PP everyday, listening mostly to the self confidence CD but there's about 4 or 5 that I cycle through depending on the day. I'm finding it very helpful, and I feel very relaxed, focused and calm for the rest of the day afterwards.
Will keep you informed on the status of goals when I achieve them, I believe with the tools I have and the processes learned I will be setting new goals in not time! Thanks Sandy, I will be in touch. M.D. Qld

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How about negative people ? any tips on how to handle them?

How about negative people – any tips on how to handle them

When you come in contact with negative people, one good thing to do is just send out good thought waves, send out love for instance (silently in your mind). Remember, whatever you give out, you get back. So if you want love or good relationships and good thoughts then send out love or good relationships or good thoughts. Many people often use negative language and that's fine; some may not know the importance of being more constructive. You just do your own thing, being positive and constructive. Above all use the PP techniques and remain calm.

How can I cope with the many issues surrounding my separation and divorce?

How can I cope with the many issues surrounding my separation and divorce

Separation (divorce) is probably one of the hardest thing in life to deal with. One of the main issues with this is that we're always looking outside ourselves for love (this could mean lack of self esteem, lack of self love, etc...). Have you heard the saying that you need to give out more of what you want in your life, for example ... "If you want 'more love in your life', then you need to give out more love". Now you can't give out something unless you've got it to give - so how do you do that? We need to love ourselves so much that we don't have the need to look outside ourselves for love. My thought is that partnership will come when we ourselves are ready for it. And obviously I recognise that we all want it in some way or another. So what does loving oneself really mean? It is in fact taking responsibility for ourselves in every way from the way we talk to ourselves, to the food we eat, to the books we read and the TV/movies we watch, to making sure our stress levels are under control - I'm sure you get the picture. (See page 33 of the book "Student Steps To Success" for quite a list.) If you are aware of these issues, you are already 50% of the way there. The next 25% is having the desire to do something about it, and the final 25% is actually doing something, which is where some of my work will be of value, especially reading "Piece of Mind" and working with goals, remember to ALWAYS keep your self talk positive.

I know that issues involving hatred, anger, guilt, revenge and ............. more may come up for you. Work with whatever comes up - do not push it down! The main way forward is with acceptance, cooperation, unconditional love and forgiveness. Specific meditations are probably the best way - Letting Go Anger (PP9), Inner Peace and Harmony (PP13), Self Worth and Confidence (PP10) and forgiveness (PP6) plus the book "Switch On To Your Inner Strength."

I have been doing creative visualization for the last 5 months very seriously

I have been doing creative visualization for the last 5 months very seriously, for finding the kind of partner I would like. I started by imagining a face, which is based on my memory of a person who worked in the same organisation as I did. That's where I am having difficulty.
1. I find it difficult to visualize without him. Should I take this man as my spirtual guide? After all he is the one who leads me to experience the strong feelings of love and joy.
2. What is the right way to visualize for ideal mate? How wrong is it to imagine a specific face?

I would suggest that it is NOT a good idea to visualise a specific person's face .... what if you eventually came together with that "face" and all the qualities of goodness, etc... that you wanted were not present. If this face continually comes up for you then consider it to be somebody like a "Guide" and ask for them to help you for the highest good of all concerned.

If you really want to focus on an ideal partner coming to you then first of all, write down all the qualities you want in a partner, including their personality, interests, values, education, etc.... When you have this list, focus on it in your meditation and ask for this ideal person to come into your life in some way or another. When this person does come into your life then you will be able to recognise that this is a possibility of being your ideal partner, because you will recognise qualities that you have "asked for". You could do this in a meditation for a short time each day and ask for the highest good of all concerned that this person comes to you - then let it go and get on with your main meditation.

You may be helped by reading my book "Piece of Mind" (which is also available at most libraries - you can read about it on this website)

Often the group of people I'm mixing with use negative language - does this have any effect on me?

Often the group of people I'm mixing with use negative language - does this have any effect on me

Repetition can have an effect because it can go into memory. If you experience a lot of emotion during the time you hear negative language then it goes straight into memory. So yes, the answer is that it does effect you - negatively. One thing you could do is increase your own self esteem by moving away from this group of people. A way to remain positive when negative language is around you is to actually correct it immediately inside your own mind - in this way you are actually putting up a barrier between the negative language that you hear and what you're allowing in to your subconscious mind.

Some of my family are not believing in the process I'm taking to work towards healing - any advice?

Some of my family are not believing in the process I'm taking to work towards healing - any advice

Dr Bernie Siegel in the movie "Leap of Faith", advised his group of people who were working with a life-threatening illness, to surround themselves with supportive people. If that meant excluding some members of their own family, then so be it. Remember it's the people who are close to you that you will actually take more notice of, so to protect yourself during this taxing time you may need to completely cut yourself from negative people, even if they happen to be a family member. I'm sorry if this seems to be quite harsh, but when you have recovered, then normal relations can resume.

Will your Relationships Tape assist with problems between my husband and myself?

Will your Relationships Tape assist with problems between my husband and myself

Let me ask you a question first - does both you and your husband want to work towards staying together harmoniously? If the answer is "yes" then the meditation Improving Relationships PP14 (Tape or CD) will definitely assist. There are two exercises to do in the meditation (that you do together - after the meditation) - please do them they are very helpful.

Improving Relationships

Handling Life - Success and the Unexpected

Improving Relationships

Improving Relationships

Confrontations Handling

Story from I.J.

Family

Story from H.V

Family

Story from J.T

Family

Story from A.J

Mothers

Story from J.T

Mothers

Story from M.M

Mothers

Story from J.T

Mothers

Story from P.H

Grief - overcoming

Relationships - challenging

Handling Booming Effects

Teenage sons

breastfeeding

"father and son"

improvement in relationships – especially family

mostly to the self confidence CD

How about negative people ? any tips on how to handle them?

How can I cope with the many issues surrounding my separation and divorce?

I have been doing creative visualization for the last 5 months very seriously

Often the group of people I'm mixing with use negative language - does this have any effect on me?

Some of my family are not believing in the process I'm taking to work towards healing - any advice?

Will your Relationships Tape assist with problems between my husband and myself?

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