Why? What stops us getting what we want? We may want to …
* make the important telephone calls
* present information clearly and concisely
* do the study we need to do
* be a confident sales person
* practise the skills we need
* eat the right food
* remain calm in situations of “mayhem”
* respond without anger
* tap into our creativity
* use our creative skills
* improve relationships
* overcome our fears
* relax more frequently
* think and speak positively
* stop a bad habit (eg. smoking)
* forgive someone
* and more,
but fears, doubts and blocks stop us. Sometimes what stops us is of our own making and sometimes it’s not. I recently read this Loving Each Day message which seems particularly apt:-
Question: What stops me from enjoying my life more?
Answer: You have habitual patterns, like a number of people, where you focus on the negative, you get involved in the negative, and you get fascinated by it. That's one of the elements that negativity has on our consciousness - fascination. It has an attraction, a glamour, and it holds our attention. It's allowed to do that, to have energy that our consciousness responds to, but we're larger than whatever the negativity is. So we have the ability to transcend it. Always, that ability is there. The more you know that ability and direct it to overcome, the less the negativity impacts on you. You may find that you're simply directing your energy into what serves you, into who you are.
(From: Q&A from the Heart Journal) www.lovingeachday.org
So it’s NOT OUR FAULT. It’s our mind that stops us, it’s our programming that stops us, it’s … SABOTAGE.
I’m sure we can all relate to self talk, such as …. “I’ll never get it. I’m no good at it. Everyone is better than me. I haven’t done enough practice. I know I’ll fail. I hate it anyway. I’m useless.” Well that self talk is self sabotage. That’s how the deeper inner mind, the subconscious mind keeps us where we are. The subconscious mind deals with our memory, habits, personality and self image.
That’s the job of the subconscious mind - “to keep us where we are.” Another way of saying it is to keep us in our Comfort Zone. The subconscious mind wants what it’s got and does not want what it’s not got. In other words, every habit that we have, be it good or bad, the subconscious mind wants it. It is our Comfort Zone because it is already there. So, how does it keep us where we are? With negative habits, by using self sabotage … negative self talk, which is often just another habit.
So, it’s not our fault - it’s just how the mind works!
Your inner mind does not desire change, it is comfortable with all your habits irrespective of whether they are good or bad for you. In some ways it is like a computer, it simply accepts the programs you choose to install. To communicate with the subconscious mind we need to state what we want in positive, personal language - and use the present tense. Why is it so necessary to use positive language? Your mind processes negativity - for example, it will process “Don’t think of a rainbow” into “Think of a rainbow”. It will process “Don’t worry” into “Worry”.
If you ask yourself a question, you get an answer. If you ask yourself a negative question such as, “Why me?” then you get a negative answer. Negative answers send you into guilt and blame, and with these resulting negative feelings, negativity becomes self fulfilling and so you will then feel even more depressed. Yes, that’s right - habits of negativity lead to depression and being negative can certainly be a habit. Once again awareness of what you are saying to yourself is a big key to success.
Can we do anything about it?
Yes. One thing we need to do is to change the negative self talk into positive self talk … it can be … “I’m good at this. I’ve really been practising. I’m getting better and better. I deserve to do well. I’m ready - let’s do it.” So in other words, the self talk can become positive and that can be our new Comfort Zone. The job of the conscious mind is to do the work … do the work in the subconscious mind. That is, create a new habit, which is our new Comfort Zone.
How come we can reprogram the subconscious mind?
The major reason that we are able to reprogram the subconscious mind is because the subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality. An example…. Have you ever had a dream about falling (or a nightmare about being chased, running for your life?). In the dream, you’re falling (or being chased); your heart is beating faster, your adrenalin is pumping, you wake up in a hot sweat and then … what is the first thing you say to yourself? Yes, that’s right … “It’s only a dream.” But which mind said that? The conscious mind. The dream mind - the subconscious mind - it didn’t know … heart beating faster, adrenalin pumping, hot sweats. The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality.
This means that when the conscious mind is directing thoughts in the subconscious mind, (this can be done using guided imagery and being in the Alpha brain wave state), then you can “pretend” and the subconscious mind will not know that it is pretence. Look at goals - they are something you have not yet achieved and yet to get the goal into the subconscious mind, so that both minds are on the same track, you pretend that you already have the goal. That is exactly what our famous sports people do to achieve even more - they are taught it. Is this lying to yourself? Of course it is ….. and it isn’t - the conscious mind knows and the subconscious mind doesn’t know. All you wish to do is to stop the subconscious mind from sabotaging you and achieve the goal faster by getting both minds on the same track. This illustrates the importance of having the goal worded in the Present Tense.
So how do we get into our subconscious mind?
Between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind is the Reticular Activating System. It is a group of cells at the base of your brain stem and is about as big as your little finger. It’s serves as a little control centre - sorting and evaluating incoming data like a big filter which opens and closes. When it’s open we can consciously deal with habits and access memory. An example … have you ever been in an exam and had a block? You know that you know the answer but you just can’t recall it. Why? Because you’re uptight and anxious and the Filter is therefore closed. No access to memory. By the way, when do you get the answer? That’s right, as you walk out of the exam. What’s happened is that you have relaxed and the filter opens. It’s best to relax in the exam isn’t it - relax to recall.
So learning to relax and focus in less than 30 seconds is a valuable skill. Not only do you release stress, you gain access to the storehouse of memory and habits. When we relax we go to the Alpha brainwave state. It’s easy to learn. I teach a system whereby you build a Peaceful Place (PP) inside your mind and then with practise you go back there faster and faster, creating a neural pathway so that this action? becomes automatic.
Do you want to know the “How” - To Do It?
The “how” to reprogram your subconscious mind is what I teach about. A starting point is to look at the E-Report How to Change Habits Easily (and please know that the Audio referred therein is no longer available on line to download - but it is available as a CD). You know I believe that the most powerful program I have is my 2 day work shop titled Calm Life Skills Seminar and I’m pleased to tell you that I now have the same seminar available on DVD with all the CDs plus a workbook which is particularly useful for people who cannot come to the actual seminar.
So, I know that the information in this E-Report is valuable and if you agree with me then I would ask you to send it on to your friends.
Have a great Festive Season and keep using your Peaceful Place to stay relaxed.
All The Best
As I promised at your seminar in Chicago on October 27, I am reporting the results of my cataract surgery. At the time I was having a problem receiving approval for the surgery from my physician due to my elevated blood pressure.
After the instruction you provided at the seminar in a week's time I was able to lower it to an acceptable level. I went to the hospital several days ago for the surgery. When the surgical nurse initially took my blood pressure she exclaimed " Oh my, I'm afraid that's too high for surgery today". The reading was 175/115. Then she left to consult with the surgeon. Fortunately he was running behind schedule so I had 30 minutes to seek my 'Peaceful Place'.
From your teaching I remember that you cannot 'force' yourself there so I just tried to float away. Now the one part that I hadn't fully understood in playing your CD is the difference between the 'relaxing place' and the 'peaceful place.' To me they could be one and the same. I think you even suggested that in your 3 Hour Seminar.
I had my relaxing place clearly in my mind. A bench under a magnificent oak tree, with bright green grass bordered with colorful flowers looking out to a beautiful blue lake. This was a scene almost exactly as one described in your lesson. To me this was both places.
With the urgency of time I was having difficulty blanking out thoughts of surgery, etc. Then all of a sudden I visualized a pathway leading up over the lake to a mountain of clouds. As I reached the top I clearly saw the image of my mother who had passed away many decades ago. I sat down beside her on a soft mound of clouds and felt her hand on my shoulder and a light breeze on my face. Instantly all tensions flooded out of me and I was completely relaxed. This truly was my Peaceful Place!
Within moments the nurse returned and looking at the monitor on the wall over my head she gasped, " What on earth did you do?" The digital gauge read 135/82! I was tempted to answer that it was really nothing on earth but time was too short to get into that. The surgery proceeded perfectly and my sight is now better than it has been in years.
I must admit that I have been a worrier for most of my life. I have dozens of self-help books dating from the 1950's to this year. A number of them promote techniques not too different from yours. But what had made your program so much more effective for me was attending the seminar and meeting you in person. Now when I play the CD's and hear your voice it seems so much more personal, as if you are speaking directly to me - which of course you are!
Now my challenge is to stay the course and not stray away as can happen when you think that you have conquered your fears once and for all. That is when one can slip back into the abyss. FB Chicago IL USA
I did your course when you came to Melbourne 20/21 May. Sorry it has been six months to write and let you know how I'm going. Firstly I have to tell you that doing your seminar was one of the best things I have ever learnt and I really appreciate what you did for me in letting me come to your course with Michael's help. Peaceful Place is a part of my life every day even if it's for 1 to 3 minutes and I do your Relaxation and Meditation CDs most days, it is and always will be a part of my life as it helps me so much in how I feel and daily stress. I have moved to Perth 3 weeks ago to be with my father and my sister and brother. So nice to be home with family. I am feeling well and look after my health just starting to get back into a routine. I am still doing alternative things and still choose not to do chemo and full surgery for breast cancer. I feel a lot better having my family here to support me. I hope all is going well for you Sandy and your wife and I always think of you when I listen to your calming and caring voice on the CD. I hope in the future we can meet again. Take care and all the best. RH Vic (Now WA)
Many thanks re your weekend course. I have attended many seminars and I honestly cannot think of any program that compares to CALM, specifically in terms of walking way with easy-to-use and easy-to-implement life changing tools. I am deeply grateful.(And a few weeks later) Just wanted to let you know that I’ve been applying your techniques with respect to visualizing goals. The result? Within 30 days my business income has gone up 45% (after 2 years of going down). What’s even more amazing are all the wonderful business ideas that are coming to me at this time. I look forward to more amazing results in the next quarter – this time I’m going to balance my visualizing i.e. I’ll add health, relationships and a mental goal. DR NSW