I got sick and tired of being sick and tired of my book-keeping job of 8 years and took a big risk - I resigned with nothing else to go to - giving up the security of good money, etc. I kept my goal going for a good job doing what I enjoy which is swimming. No luck through the normal channels but I unexpectedly met someone at a party which resulted in working with handicapped children in hydro-therapy. Right now I couldn't be happier!
I attended your CALM Seminar earlier this year and recently came to a Follow up. I have always believed in the power of visualisation with setting goals, but always had difficulty achieving any consistency in the process. By using the techniques that I learned on the CALM weekend I found that I could maintain focus on my goals for longer and created a new job where I can increase my role in training. I had limited success with goals in relationships, home and health. I gained benefit from the Follow Up Evening and was interested in the comments of others. The important points for me were to set goals that are consistent with our values and that bring quality to our lives and also to maintain discipline in using ALPHA on a regular basis.
The week before I was to attend the CALM Seminar I was preparing final accounts for the Auditor who was due on the Monday after the Seminar. I had not finished the books on Friday night and began to panic. The last session of the Seminar on Saturday was our first deep relaxation and I imagined myself checking the journal entries and all the additions and transfers on the large 10-column worksheet which I had not been able to balance. I told myself that I would be able to balance it in 30 minutes. On the way home I told my wife what I was going to do. After a cup of coffee with my wife I went to the papers spread out over the table and did as I had imagined. I balanced the worksheet in 29 minutes!
I am confined to a wheelchair following a serious motorcycle accident 14 years ago when I was 17 years old. I continually use Sandy's PP techniques in many ways but mainly for my cue sports. Winning the local competitions was success. A great highlight was to beat Eddie Charlton in a best of three match in December 1992. I beat him 2 to nil and have his autographed cue and a video of the matches to prove it! I did it again in 1994. I told everyone I would beat the world champion and current Australian Champion and said “I could see his cue on my wall”.
I represented Australia in plumbing in the recent Skills Olympics in Taiwan. My goal was to win a Gold Medal. I did heaps of practice and constantly used Sandy's tape to prepare myself mentally. The competition is over 4 long days and my major disadvantage was to work with unfamiliar pipe sizes and a pipe bending machine (ones I had never used before but with which competitors from the Asian countries were familiar). I got the BRONZE Medal (only missing out on Gold by less than 1%), and got the GOLD medal for the highest points of any Australian competing throughout the 35 trades.
Sandy, I mentioned to you during our telephone conversation that I felt that I have returned from this ski trip with an Olympic gold medal. This feeling has come about by reaching a goal that in past years I thought was beyond my grasp. My goal was to be able to ski in bottomless powder snow in extremely steep terrain in the wilderness mountains of Canada. Previously, fear would prevent me from handling these slopes with any form of competence. I would be unbelievably tense and I would actually hold my breath until I was forced to stop due to lack of oxygen.
For some weeks before leaving Australia, I used your technique of being in a totally relaxed state of mind in my peaceful place. While in this state of mind I would visualise these same ski slopes. In my mind I would experience the exhilaration of skiing. I would feel the wind rushing past me, the powder snow pluming over my head. I could feel my legs working the skis and I felt relaxed and confident.
When in reality, I started down these same ski slopes, I was more than thrilled to find that I was relaxed and I was skiing exactly as I had visualised. I was no longer holding my breath from utter terror.
The same group of people have been going to this area for some years and their positive comments regarding my improvement was tremendous reinforcement for the sense of achievement that I was feeling. And yes, I gave myself a pat on the back for doing something that I had been unable to do because of self imposed doubts and negative thoughts.
Yes, this letter is headed SUCCESS and I am writing to touch base again and say Hi, and hope you are all in the best of health and like me enjoying SUCCESS.
At the first seminar attended back in June 1994 in Launceston, I set a goal to become an Occupational Heath and Safety Consultant, and to get out of high pressure accounting and administration responsibilities.
Well, it is happening. I retire from my current position on the 4th July, and after two weeks’ holidays I commence with Motors Holdings Ltd (which includes the Tasmanian, Melbourne and Adelaide Dealerships) as Occupational Health and Safety Consultant. This is on a part time basis and will involve a minimum of 800 hours over the next financial year.
I will also be conducting training seminars in Manual Handling Techniques, Safety Representative Training and Stress Management, and Health and Safety Consultancy as well as First Aid Teaching.
In particular, after having experienced first hand the stress generated from the demands in the Corporate sector, and learning to deal with it, I want to work at helping others to do likewise.This has been an inner desire for many years, but it took that first seminar to seriously set a goal, and work towards achieving it. Thanks for your help Sandy.
I came to your seminar because my husband thought you may be able to help me to remain calm and get through my dog judging exam. I had failed the practical exam twice, a major cause being my nerves—I could not handle the intense pressure and felt totally intimidated by the three examiners. Well, I am writing to tell you I have used a combination of coloured pens and making mind charts for each breed of dog to do my study. I have gone regularly to my Peaceful Place and then visualised the exam, from arriving, what I would wear, how I would remain calm and focused on each breed, assessing it against the standard. I visualised different breeds each time and how I could find the best one because I had done the study.Well I passed!! From January 1998 I will have a license to judge Group 5 dogs anywhere in the world. A local club has already offered me an appointment and all this since Saturday. One of the examiners commented he couldn’t believe the shaking wreck, gibbering garbage 2 years ago, was now so calm and focused. I just wanted to say thank you for teaching me to use my brain and mind to achieve my dream.
Over the past five years my netball team has been in five grand finals and won only one. We play well all season but at finals time we drop our bundle big time, mainly due to nerves. We literally forget how to play and run around the court looking as though we’ve never played together before in our lives!
That was until I attended your Life Skills Seminar where I learnt (amongst other valuable things) creative visualisation. My ‘pep talk’ to the girls leading up to the grand final last Wednesday was:
“Visualise your individual performance and imagine that you are playing the best you’ve ever played. See that we’re setting up play and creating space.
We are playing better than the other team and we are not getting distracted by the other team. Visualise the victory at the end of the game and actually feel how good it is.”I personally put my winning trophy on the mantelpiece in my Peaceful Place and got my butterflies (all 3 million of them) flying in rotation. Well, I am ecstatic to say that it worked. We won the grand final by 10 goals no less! It was the most fantastic feeling and greatest sense of achievement I have ever experienced. We all agree that we played like a different team, but this time a much better one. Thank you Sandy for such a worthwhile and necessary weekend.
Just thought you might be interested to know that I achieved my goal! Do you remember when I came to one of your seminars in 1996 you asked me to decide the TER I would aim for? At the time I was pretty ambitious when I said 98. Well, two years later after lots of visits to my Peaceful Place and a fair amount of hard work, I actually ended up getting 99.05. I was thrilled! Aiming high has allowed me to get a place in Arts-Law at Sydney Uni. Thanks for all your help!
My 500km journey over the Great Dividing Range from the west was nothing compared to the journey I went on when I got to Corokai! I explored parts of my life that I never thought I was game to acknowledge... and I did it in an environment of much love, warmth and understanding.... with your guidance, and the positive group energy radiated from our ‘togetherness’ for those four days. Thank you Sandy for ‘sharing’ and for ‘caring.’ I am indeed blessed to have been chosen to realise my journey simply from meeting you.
I shall write to you again in a few weeks to let you know of my journey’s highlights, as I am now still in a ‘reflective’ mode since CHI last week... however, let me share with you just one amazing little event that has occurred to me since then. You may recall that my long-term goal is to ‘play the piano brilliantly’ — in my goal book I listed all the steps I need to take to achieve that goal, but overlooked the most important initial step of all: get the old piano tuned! (It hasn’t been tuned for over 30 years although it is in very good condition otherwise.) I arrived home from Corokai midday Monday, only to find that I had a phone message from a man in Inverell. I had only met this man once, a year ago, after Mass one Sunday, and in my five minute conversation with him told him I enjoyed his key-board playing in the church. His message for me last Monday was that he was a piano tuner; he would be in the area on Wednesday, and would I like my piano tuned! Wow — talk about positive energy vibes all the way from Corokai to Inverell. By Wednesday afternoon he had knocked all the dust out of the old piano, tuned it up and then tickled the ivories late into the evening with me playing ‘chop-sticks’ on the bass notes. What an ‘emotional anchor’ feeling that was!My ‘book goal’ is making timely progress, as planned, after contacting the printers in Brisbane, and a wonderful cartoonist to illustrate the poems for me (I have had him in mind for the past year to illustrate for me and now he has agreed.)
I was fortunate to attend your recent Seminar for which I thank you. I learned some valuable lessons which I have recently put into practice. Let me explain.
I moved into a flat in March 1998 and was not happy with the circumstances around this building so I decided to sell this unit. I placed the sale in an agent’s hands and three months expired without success. I then changed agents and put into action the valuable lessons I had learned. I found my PP and made a goal to sell my unit by 30th November 1998, and lo and behold, right at 5pm the agent rang and said I had a purchaser. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Then I made another goal to the effect that I would find a unit near the station and shops, at a price I could afford by 4th December 1998. Lo and behold, I found one on 3rd December. Coincidence again?
I really believe that our PP and the ability to make goals there is a fascinating experience. It is something like cyber-thinking. I can’t tell you how much I value PP and I am privileged to have been fortunate enough to meet you and learn this so easy and successful method of achieving the things we aim for.I wish you and your team every success in the future.
I have had offers of work and to do training and have also won an award, out of 75 entries, for Best Training Program with which I was very pleased. I love doing what I am doing now and find it extremely rewarding. When I think back to June 1994 when I attended that first CALM Seminar, one week after my first major car accident ( caused by mental and physical exhaustion ) — that’s when I set the goal to do what I am now doing and I feel a real sense of gratitude for your message and guidance at that first seminar and subsequently reinforced at later ones.Hope the past year has been good to all of you — you deserve the best.
Since participating in the Life Skills Seminar I have set and achieved a number of goals but there are so many more I wish to set myself and achieve! I have been meditating every day now for over a year and the benefit has been quite surprising. I also joined Toastmasters and recently gave my tenth speech – I became a Competent Toastmaster!
I retired from secretarial/reception work in 1991. I thought about starting a school to teach natural health, but that's all I did until I attended Sandy MacGregor's weekend seminar. Following the seminar, and after much difficulty with accountants and banks, I raised some finance. Today I have two schools, one in Launceston and one on the N.W. coast of Tasmania, my own large modern clinic. Thanks Sandy, I will always be grateful to you - you gave me the confidence to realise my dream, you have enable me to enjoy a greater quality of life.
So much has happened in the 12 months in my life when I felt everything had ground to a halt and there was no hope of anything changing. I was trying to recover from a major depression, I weighed 12 stone, my marriage was in a bad state and I felt I had no future.
I decided to try the methods you taught even though I was a little sceptical. The goal I set at the seminar was about releasing weight. Now 12 months later, I’m 3 stone lighter. As the weight began to go, I started using Alpha to get through difficult day to day situations and to relax in general. As I became more relaxed, I was able to think more clearly about what I wanted and started to set and achieve goals.
I don’t want it to sound like the CALM seminar instantly solved all my problems. I still battle depression on a daily basis and my marriage though much more secure and happy still has problems. The greatest difference is that now these ‘problems’ don’t totally overwhelm me. I feel I have the tools I need to tap into my own power and deal with things as they happen. I can see that things can change and that I now have the power to change the way I act and feel when confronted by problems. Instead of problems running my life, I feel in control again and therefore have a future.I’m expecting my third child next year and am looking forward to writing and telling you about my post natal depression free pregnancy. Thank you Sandy.
It has only been a few weeks since I attended your seminar. I originally came along for a very different reason than I have ended up using your strategies for. My husband and I attended after friends had told us about your seminars, we hoped to set ourselves some goals that would get us over a flat time in our lives, our children have all grown and although not empty nesters as yet our focus of many years (our kids) has changed. The consequences of which were leaving us quite negative and floundering around without direction. You were able to help us with that and we are now on track with our goals.
I however decided to also use your strategies for weight release, something I had lost all faith in ever achieving. I meditate twice a day and have changed many bad habits I have carried around for a very long time, I have also began to realise the deeper reasons for my weight problem and I am working on those also. I am feeling stronger and more in control than I have for years. Thank you for your wonderful life changing strategies.
Story from L.E. NSW.
Story from H.F. ACT.
I now have the tools to manifest the life I want. You are an excellent teacher and I am very grateful to you for sharing your skills.
Story from P.Y. NSW.
Story from D.R. NSW
Many thanks re your weekend course. I have attended many seminars and I honestly cannot think of any program that compares to CALM, specifically in terms of walking away with easy-to-use and easy-to-implement life changing tools. I am deeply grateful.
(And a few weeks later) ...
Just wanted to let you know that I’ve been applying your techniques with respect to visualizing goals. The result? Within 30 days my business income has gone up 45% (after 2 years of going down). What’s even more amazing are all the wonderful business ideas that are coming to me at this time. I look forward to more amazing results in the next quarter – this time I’m going to balance my visualizing i.e. I’ll add health, relationships and a mental goal.
Story from N.J. Vic
Thank you very much for thinking of me on my birthday. It was most unexpected but appreciated.
I originally came along to your seminar for a very different reason than that that which I have ended up using your strategies for. My husband and I attended after friends had told us about your seminars, we hoped to set ourselves some goals that would get us over a flat time in our lives. Our children have all grown and although not empty nesters as yet our focus of many years (our kids) has changed, the consequences of which where leaving us quite negative and floundering around without direction. You were able to help us with that and we are now on track with our goals. I however decided to also use your strategies for weight release, something I had lost all faith in ever achieving. I meditate twice a day and have changed many bad habits I have carried around for a very long time. I have also began to realise the deeper reasons for my weight problem and I am working on those also. I am feeling stronger and more in control than I have for years. Thank you for your wonderful life changing strategies, I will keep you up to date on my successes.
Story from J.T. NSW
Since using your techniques I have made a "career move". I am no longer the harassed mother at the supermarket, come on you've all seen me! I am now the assertive, positive listener, creating a happy environment. My new career has taken on a new dimension, I am the "Supermum" I want to be, not the one society expects me to be. I am now responding to my inner needs and expectations not society's - mine are realistic goals set by me - I can only succeed.
Primarily we teach by our actions, not words; by using the relaxation methods I am enriching my life and the lives of my children. I have come to realise how powerful positive parenting can be. My goal was so high it wasn't immediately evident. I didn't even think I had one, but it was sitting there waiting for me to grow into it. With the help of your seminar I have made my first step towards that goal by helping my children be at peace with themselves and each other. Imagine if we could create a generation, a world, to become at peace with themselves and each other, and we are all capable of that, now that's an incredibly powerful thought. My latest emotion of joy is now locked into my subconscious when my 3 year old son said: "Mummy I like you!" I felt a great peace spread through me, suddenly I knew I already had what I was looking for and with my new found positive approach I could really start to enjoy it.
Story from J.N. Vic
Thank you very much for thinking of me on my birthday. It was most unexpected but appreciated. It has only been a few weeks since I attended your seminar. I originally came along for a very different reason than I have ended up using your strategies for. My husband and I attended after friends had told us about your seminars - we hoped to set ourselves some goals that would get us over a flat time in our lives. Not quite empty nesters, yet all our children grown up and our focus of many years (our kids) has changed, the consequences of which were leaving us quite negative and floundering around, without direction. You were able to help us with that and we are now on track with our goals. However, I also decided to use your strategies for weight release, something I had lost all faith in ever achieving. I meditate twice a day and have changed many bad habits that I have carried around for a very long time. I also began to realise the deeper reasons for my weight problem and I am working on those as well. I am feeling stronger and more in control than I have for years. Thank you for your wonderful life-changing strategies, I will keep you up to date on my successes.
Below is a Question and Answer Session I had at a follow up seminar which seems to cover a lot of ground, and summarises many of the aspects of goals.
Why is goal-getting challenging
Because it represents new learning experiences and change
Why are learning experiences challenging
Because they take place outside your Comfort Zone and make some people feel stressful, inadequate or uncomfortable.
How can relaxation help
By relaxing, you're able to put your goals into your subconscious mind and achieve them faster and without stress. This is because:
a. With relaxation, your body is relaxed whilst your mind is receptive. The "Filter" between the conscious and the subconscious mind is open, allowing information to pass easily into (or out of) your subconscious mind. This mind is the storehouse for memory, habits, personality and your self image.
b. It's a fact that the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. You can put your goal (whatever you want to achieve) into your subconscious mind as thought it's already true. Once your subconscious mind – the 88% part of your mind – has got it, then it becomes reality to the conscious mind – the other 12%. This way goals happen faster.
So what is the conscious mind's role in obtaining goals
Decision making, desire and direction of the subconscious mind. Once you know what you want to achieve - a better mark in an exam, a good relationship with your parents, to do well in your sporting pursuits - then it's the job of the conscious mind to get the goals into the subconscious.
If you know you want to achieve something consciously then why tell the subconscious mind
The answer to that question is the real key to success. The role of the subconscious mind is to keep you in your Comfort Zone with all the habits that you have now. If you want to change habits this can be stressful and therefore rejected by the subconscious mind. The conscious mind makes the decision to go for the goal and then reprograms it into the subconscious mind, in the relaxed state – this then means that both minds work in co-operation with each other.
Is there much conflict between the two minds
Yes there can be. The conscious mind wants the goal and the subconscious mind wants to keep you where you are right now and presents delays, doubts and obstacles to keep you from getting the goal. The conscious mind's job is to transfer what you want to achieve into the subconscious mind, where once in, it will become the new habit. When the subconscious mind has got it, then you achieve it… faster.
Can this be made any easier
Yes, by getting as much support as you can possibly muster. Support means anything/anyone that will help you achieve your goal. It's important to share your goal with only those people who will support and help you. This support may come from friends, family and teachers. The main thing is to ask for what you want – you deserve it!
Can you have a happiness goal
One of the things that the science of dreams has shown is that happiness is a journey. Happiness comes from moving towards a goal, not actually getting it. In fact, to remain happy, always have a goal that you are working towards. A famous guru describes the secret of happiness as "BE HAPPY". In other words a verb – a doing word. ATTITUDE is a real key – you can't buy happiness, can you? I'll be happy when I get through school. I'll be happy when I get a job. I'll be happy when I get a great partner. I'll be happy when I'm married. I'll be happy when we have a house. I'll be happy when we have children. I'll be happy when we go overseas. I'll be happy when… Have you seen or heard this before? Just remember BE HAPPY – it's an attitude.
How do you deal with failure
Well, it's true that only one person can come first in the 100 metre dash. So what about the person that comes second? Attitude once again is the answer. Believing that the failure is in fact "a hiccup in a forward direction" is a great start. Learning from "failure" and then modifying the goal is a good way forward. Knowing that you've done the best you can do – your personal best – is good, positive self talk. Another thing – sometimes failure happens when we're not "on course". We could be going for a goal which is not in harmony with our life's purpose or values. There is a part of us, inside, that knows what's right or wrong for us. If we go against what we know is right then we feel uncomfortable. "Failing" may be a signal to get back on track with what we really want. I know of so many people who have just missed out on a particular course – sometimes by ¼ of a mark. This has set them on a completely new course and, years later, they were really glad about that.
Is guilt part of that uncomfortable feeling
Yes, it can be. For instance, you may have a study goal and want to do really well in a test next week. Your friends convince you to go to a movie but you don't enjoy it because you're worried and feeling guilty about not being at home studying! Guilt is pointless. If you go to the movie – enjoy it. If you muck up over something or make the wrong choice, do whatever is necessary to correct it and get back on track. Don't hang on to the guilt – it's unnecessary and you can't turn back time.
Can you point me in a direction that may allow me to work out how to apply my "Peaceful Place" meditation to specific goals
Two ways of getting goals into the subconscious mind ... fast way - is the 30 second 8-steps method where you write out your goal, visualise the success of your goal and emotionalise it (emotion being the language of the subconscious mind).
The second way is by meditation in the Theta state. If the specific goal is not addressed on any of the meditation tapes (or CDs) that I have - PP3 to 15, - then the only way is to write it out and make your own tape. The words actually say the goal and describe the visualisation and then of course describe the emotionalisation. (All this of course is done using PP and then going down through the colours, etc... )
Can you use your subconscious mind for multiple goals
When you deliberately work at achieving goals faster by using the subconscious mind, then we really only think of one thing at a time. So after you've reached your "Peaceful Place" and you're now through the Reticular Activating Filter, working with the subconscious mind, you say the goal, you visualise the goal, you emotionalise it and then let it go. Now you've done one goal - which is only one topic. Now you can go on to a 2nd goal and do the same thing. And then a 3rd and 4th, etc... You do not think of all the goals at once - you do them one after the other. With the conscious mind we can think of up to 9 things at a time, that is for example, when you're driving a car - you can think of the car in front, the car behind, the truck on the left, the bus on the right, listening to the radio, listening to your passengers, getting directions from your spouse, reading a road sign, etc... This is the conscious mind.
How can porpoising affect goals
If you do porpoising 20 times a day, 30 seconds each time – that's 10 minutes a day – after a month it will be automatic and you will be able to:
How do I know whether it's the wrong goal or just another challenge along the way
It's important to ask yourself and then listen to what your inner voice is telling you - particularly in meditation. You can learn how to tell the difference between what's right for you or what you want, rather than just do something because your acquaintances tell you what's best for you.
How important is having a goal
One of the things that the science of dreams has shown is that happiness is a journey. Happiness comes from moving towards a goal, not actually getting it. To remain happy always have a goal that you are working towards. A famous guru describes the secret of happiness as "BE HAPPY". In other words a verb – a doing word.
How long before my goal comes true
It depends on how often you tell your subconscious mind and how much emotion you use and of course what is realistic.
Lots of Repetition + Lots of Emotion = Faster & Easier Goal Achievement. Why is this so? Because the 88% of the Subconscious Mind has got the goal, the 12% of the conscious mind wants the goal and now you have 100% going for the goal, with all good, positive self-talk.
I have several goals I'd like to work on. What is the best way to work on these in my Peaceful Place? One after the other at the one session? Or is it better to porpoise in and out and do a different one each time
Either way is fine - I do all mine together, that is, say each goal, visualise the goal, apply Emotional Anchor, let it go and then say the next goal, etc...
I have the goals written down and need to look at the paper to remember the wording of each one. How does that affect my alpha state when I open my eyes to read
If you have to do this, then just do one goal at a time. By this time I reckon you'll know them off by heart, without having to look at the paper.
If I've got a goal to increase my weight and lead a fit and healthy lifestyle, should I go out and book into a gym and weight lifting program straight away
I'd wait a while and instead start straight away imagining your goal coming true after going to your Peaceful Place and using your Emotional Anchor. What will happen is you will "fall in love" with the idea of being fit and healthy and after a couple of weeks (after your Reticular Activating System has found you the best membership deal in town) you'll be practically bursting down the walls to get into the gym and it'll be a joy to be there.
If you go immediately without reprogramming your subconscious mind, it will be conscious mind "will power" that is at work. Exercising will power makes it difficult and boring. If at some stage you stop using your will power, then it is very easy to slip back into old ways – that old habit is still in your subconscious mind.
First change the old habit to the one that you want, and you'll love every minute of your new fit and healthy lifestyle.
My goal is to build up my body and I chose an intermediate goal to help me, this being weight lifting, which I have never done. What do I do now
Before you start physically weight lifting you bring in your goal, see yourself doing weight lifting, enjoying it, see your body developing the way you want, feel good about yourself and use your Emotional Anchor. After two weeks or so you will have an attitude of "let me at those weights" – and you'll do it.
My goal seems so distant, as I know it cannot happen for several years. What do you suggest I do
It is important to break down your goal into what is achievable in – five years, one year and perhaps one month. The monthly goal is a stepping stone to the yearly goal, and the annual goal is a stepping stone towards the five year goal. It is best to concentrate on your monthly goal which then is not so distant and you know you are achieving.
Sometimes, no matter what I do, I can't get my goal – what can I do
First, answer the following question: "What stops me getting my goal?"
Now, put a blue line under those things OUTSIDE yourself which stop you getting your goal, eg. no money, someone else beats me to it, my friends knock the idea and discourage me. Put a red line under those things INSIDE yourself that stop you getting your goal, eg. lack of confidence and courage, takes too long and I get bored, I keep changing the goal, lose enthusiasm, talk to myself negatively.
Know that you have control over all the things that have a red line under them. Remember, you talk to yourself 50,000 times a day and when you talk negatively to yourself – who listens? YOU DO – and what's more, your subconscious mind believes you! This is called self sabotage.
And believe it or not, you also have control over some of the things with the blue line under them. For instance, if your friends knock you for wanting to spend a lot of time studying, you make the final decision – to join them or to keep studying. It might not be an easy decision, but one you alone should make. If people are negative all the time, you choose whether or not to be with them.
What about when someone beats you to your goal, or is better than you? You also have control over that situation because…
IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS,
IT'S HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT
Someone else may have "won", but it's your attitude to the result, and your own achievement that counts. It's your attitude to what happens that's the important thing. Respond negatively then you really are the loser. Respond positively and use it as a learning experience and you win no matter what!
What if I don't get the goal
As I said before, you have control over your attitude to the end result - not everybody can come first in the 100 metre race. It depends on what you do once you know you haven't got your goal. Another good clue is to use self talk like… "I've done the best that I can do"… or … "I've done my personal best" … or … "Whatever happens it's for the highest good." Answer the following question: "So what are some of the things I can do if I don't get my goal?" Remember, if you fail when doing goals, then you're "failing" in a forward direction, and you can actually learn from that "failure". Here's a perfect example of this. My friend's daughter from the second year in High School wanted to be a lawyer. The entrance mark into Sydney University was 98.5 - she got 98.2 and just missed out. She was devastated and decided to do Economics/Law instead. Unfortunately for the first six months she was still depressed and then she decided to do well in the exams. At the end of the year, after doing well, she had the choice of transferring to Law and thus fulfill her dream. She decided against it and topped Economics/Law. Today she is so happy that she didn't get into Law, because she was able to pursue another career which she absolutely loved. My question ... did she fail
What do I do when I have conflicting goals
Ask yourself "What's most important to me?". "What fits in with my values?". Think about what you want to do several years down the track and ask "Which goal will best help me get there"? Then prioritise your goals, ie. put them in the order in which you want to achieve them.
What happens if I have lots of goals
Do the following exercise…
What are all my goals?
1. Now group them into similar subjects.
2. Number them in order of preference.
3. Go for the first one in each group.