Goal Setting

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Goal setting
Learn how to bring about positive changes in your life by learning techniques of goal setting, how to set effective and achievable goals for career and life goals.

Below is a Question and Answer Session I had at a follow up seminar which seems to cover a lot of ground, and summarises many of the aspects of goals.

Why is goal-getting challenging

Because it represents new learning experiences and change

Why are learning experiences challenging

Because they take place outside your Comfort Zone and make some people feel stressful, inadequate or uncomfortable.

How can relaxation help

By relaxing, you're able to put your goals into your subconscious mind and achieve them faster and without stress. This is because:

a. With relaxation, your body is relaxed whilst your mind is receptive. The "Filter" between the conscious and the subconscious mind is open, allowing information to pass easily into (or out of) your subconscious mind. This mind is the storehouse for memory, habits, personality and your self image.

b. It's a fact that the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. You can put your goal (whatever you want to achieve) into your subconscious mind as thought it's already true. Once your subconscious mind – the 88% part of your mind – has got it, then it becomes reality to the conscious mind – the other 12%. This way goals happen faster.

So what is the conscious mind's role in obtaining goals

Decision making, desire and direction of the subconscious mind. Once you know what you want to achieve - a better mark in an exam, a good relationship with your parents, to do well in your sporting pursuits - then it's the job of the conscious mind to get the goals into the subconscious.

If you know you want to achieve something consciously then why tell the subconscious mind

The answer to that question is the real key to success. The role of the subconscious mind is to keep you in your Comfort Zone with all the habits that you have now. If you want to change habits this can be stressful and therefore rejected by the subconscious mind. The conscious mind makes the decision to go for the goal and then reprograms it into the subconscious mind, in the relaxed state – this then means that both minds work in co-operation with each other.

Is there much conflict between the two minds

Yes there can be. The conscious mind wants the goal and the subconscious mind wants to keep you where you are right now and presents delays, doubts and obstacles to keep you from getting the goal. The conscious mind's job is to transfer what you want to achieve into the subconscious mind, where once in, it will become the new habit. When the subconscious mind has got it, then you achieve it… faster.

Can this be made any easier

Yes, by getting as much support as you can possibly muster. Support means anything/anyone that will help you achieve your goal. It's important to share your goal with only those people who will support and help you. This support may come from friends, family and teachers. The main thing is to ask for what you want – you deserve it!

Can you have a happiness goal

One of the things that the science of dreams has shown is that happiness is a journey. Happiness comes from moving towards a goal, not actually getting it. In fact, to remain happy, always have a goal that you are working towards. A famous guru describes the secret of happiness as "BE HAPPY". In other words a verb – a doing word. ATTITUDE is a real key – you can't buy happiness, can you? I'll be happy when I get through school. I'll be happy when I get a job. I'll be happy when I get a great partner. I'll be happy when I'm married. I'll be happy when we have a house. I'll be happy when we have children. I'll be happy when we go overseas. I'll be happy when… Have you seen or heard this before? Just remember BE HAPPY – it's an attitude.

How do you deal with failure

Well, it's true that only one person can come first in the 100 metre dash. So what about the person that comes second? Attitude once again is the answer. Believing that the failure is in fact "a hiccup in a forward direction" is a great start. Learning from "failure" and then modifying the goal is a good way forward. Knowing that you've done the best you can do – your personal best – is good, positive self talk. Another thing – sometimes failure happens when we're not "on course". We could be going for a goal which is not in harmony with our life's purpose or values. There is a part of us, inside, that knows what's right or wrong for us. If we go against what we know is right then we feel uncomfortable. "Failing" may be a signal to get back on track with what we really want. I know of so many people who have just missed out on a particular course – sometimes by ¼ of a mark. This has set them on a completely new course and, years later, they were really glad about that.

Is guilt part of that uncomfortable feeling

Yes, it can be. For instance, you may have a study goal and want to do really well in a test next week. Your friends convince you to go to a movie but you don't enjoy it because you're worried and feeling guilty about not being at home studying! Guilt is pointless. If you go to the movie – enjoy it. If you muck up over something or make the wrong choice, do whatever is necessary to correct it and get back on track. Don't hang on to the guilt – it's unnecessary and you can't turn back time.

Can you point me in a direction that may allow me to work out how to apply my "Peaceful Place" meditation to specific goals

Two ways of getting goals into the subconscious mind ...  fast way - is the 30 second 8-steps method where you write out your goal, visualise the success of your goal and emotionalise it (emotion being the language of the subconscious mind).

The second way is by meditation in the Theta state.  If the specific goal is not addressed on any of the meditation tapes (or CDs) that I have - PP3 to 15, - then the only way is to write it out and make your own tape.  The words actually say the goal and describe the visualisation and then of course describe the emotionalisation.  (All this of course is done using PP and then going down through the colours, etc... )

Can you use your subconscious mind for multiple goals

When you deliberately work at achieving goals faster by using the subconscious mind, then we really only think of one thing at a time.  So after you've reached your "Peaceful Place" and you're now through the Reticular Activating Filter, working with the subconscious mind, you say the goal, you visualise the goal, you emotionalise it and then let it go.  Now you've done one goal - which is only one topic.  Now you can go on to a 2nd goal and do the same thing. And then a 3rd and 4th, etc... You do not think of all the goals at once - you do them one after the other.  With the conscious mind we can think of up to 9 things at a time, that is for example, when you're driving a car - you can think of the car in front, the car behind, the truck on the left, the bus on the right, listening to the radio, listening to your passengers, getting directions from your spouse, reading a road sign, etc... This is the conscious mind.

How can porpoising affect goals

If you do porpoising 20 times a day, 30 seconds each time – that's 10 minutes a day – after a month it will be automatic and you will be able to:

  • automatically release stress in 30 seconds
  • easily reprogram your subconscious mind with your goal so that it becomes habit
  • tap into your creativity – especially in longer sessions in your Peaceful Place
  • recall "forgotten" answers during an exam

How do I know whether it's the wrong goal or just another challenge along the way

It's important to ask yourself and then listen to what your inner voice is telling you - particularly in meditation. You can learn how to tell the difference between what's right for you or what you want, rather than just do something because your acquaintances tell you what's best for you.

How important is having a goal

One of the things that the science of dreams has shown is that happiness is a journey. Happiness comes from moving towards a goal, not actually getting it. To remain happy always have a goal that you are working towards. A famous guru describes the secret of happiness as "BE HAPPY". In other words a verb – a doing word.

How long before my goal comes true

It depends on how often you tell your subconscious mind and how much emotion you use and of course what is realistic.

Lots of Repetition  +  Lots of Emotion  =  Faster & Easier Goal Achievement.  Why is this so? Because the 88% of the Subconscious Mind has got the goal, the 12% of the conscious mind wants the goal and now you have 100% going for the goal, with all good, positive self-talk.

I have several goals I'd like to work on.  What is the best way to work on these in my Peaceful Place?  One after the other at the one session?  Or is it better to porpoise in and out and do a different one each time

Either way is fine - I do all mine together, that is, say each goal, visualise the goal, apply Emotional Anchor, let it go and then say the next goal, etc...

I have the goals written down and need to look at the paper to remember the wording of each one.  How does that affect my alpha state when I open my eyes to read

If you have to do this, then just do one goal at a time.  By this time I reckon you'll know them off by heart, without having to look at the paper.

If I've got a goal to increase my weight and lead a fit and healthy lifestyle, should I go out and book into a gym and weight lifting program straight away

I'd wait a while and instead start straight away imagining your goal coming true after going to your Peaceful Place and using your Emotional Anchor. What will happen is you will "fall in love" with the idea of being fit and healthy and after a couple of weeks (after your Reticular Activating System has found you the best membership deal in town) you'll be practically bursting down the walls to get into the gym and it'll be a joy to be there.

If you go immediately without reprogramming your subconscious mind, it will be conscious mind "will power" that is at work. Exercising will power makes it difficult and boring. If at some stage you stop using your will power, then it is very easy to slip back into old ways – that old habit is still in your subconscious mind.

First change the old habit to the one that you want, and you'll love every minute of your new fit and healthy lifestyle.

My goal is to build up my body and I chose an intermediate goal to help me, this being weight lifting, which I have never done. What do I do now

Before you start physically weight lifting you bring in your goal, see yourself doing weight lifting, enjoying it, see your body developing the way you want, feel good about yourself and use your Emotional Anchor. After two weeks or so you will have an attitude of "let me at those weights" – and you'll do it.

My goal seems so distant, as I know it cannot happen for several years. What do you suggest I do

It is important to break down your goal into what is achievable in – five years, one year and perhaps one month. The monthly goal is a stepping stone to the yearly goal, and the annual goal is a stepping stone towards the five year goal. It is best to concentrate on your monthly goal which then is not so distant and you know you are achieving.

Sometimes, no matter what I do, I can't get my goal – what can I do

First, answer the following question: "What stops me getting my goal?"

Now, put a blue line under those things OUTSIDE yourself which stop you getting your goal, eg. no money, someone else beats me to it, my friends knock the idea and discourage me. Put a red line under those things INSIDE yourself that stop you getting your goal, eg. lack of confidence and courage, takes too long and I get bored, I keep changing the goal, lose enthusiasm, talk to myself negatively.

Know that you have control over all the things that have a red line under them. Remember, you talk to yourself 50,000 times a day and when you talk negatively to yourself – who listens? YOU DO – and what's more, your subconscious mind believes you!  This is called self sabotage.

And believe it or not, you also have control over some of the things with the blue line under them. For instance, if your friends knock you for wanting to spend a lot of time studying, you make the final decision – to join them or to keep studying. It might not be an easy decision, but one you alone should make. If people are negative all the time, you choose whether or not to be with them.

What about when someone beats you to your goal, or is better than you? You also have control over that situation because…

IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS,
IT'S HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT
THAT'S IMPORTANT.

Someone else may have "won", but it's your attitude to the result, and your own achievement that counts. It's your attitude to what happens that's the important thing. Respond negatively then you really are the loser. Respond positively and use it as a learning experience and you win no matter what!

What if I don't get the goal

As I said before, you have control over your attitude to the end result - not everybody can come first in the 100 metre race. It depends on what you do once you know you haven't got your goal. Another good clue is to use self talk like… "I've done the best that I can do"… or … "I've done my personal best" … or … "Whatever happens it's for the highest good." Answer the following question: "So what are some of the things I can do if I don't get my goal?"  Remember, if you fail when doing goals, then you're "failing" in a forward direction, and you can actually learn from that "failure".  Here's a perfect example of this.  My friend's daughter from the second year in High School wanted to be a lawyer.  The entrance mark into Sydney University was 98.5 - she got 98.2 and just missed out.  She was devastated and decided to do Economics/Law instead.  Unfortunately for the first six months she was still depressed and then she decided to do well in the exams.  At the end of the year, after doing well,  she had the choice of transferring to Law and thus fulfill her dream.  She decided against it and topped Economics/Law.  Today she is so happy that she didn't get into Law, because she was able to pursue another career which she absolutely loved.  My question ... did she fail

What do I do when I have conflicting goals

Ask yourself "What's most important to me?". "What fits in with my values?". Think about what you want to do several years down the track and ask "Which goal will best help me get there"? Then prioritise your goals, ie. put them in the order in which you want to achieve them.

What happens if I have lots of goals

Do the following exercise…

What are all my goals?
1. Now group them into similar subjects.
2. Number them in order of preference.
3. Go for the first one in each group.

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