Improving Relationships

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Handling Life - Success and the Unexpected
Have you tools to handle the unexpected? Today we are bombarded with a lot of advertising and so many options of how to spend our time and money. How can we possibly choose something that may truly be life changing or of enormous benefit to us personally? Are we indeed looking for something or does an offer just happen to pass in front of our line of vision – ‘so to speak’.
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Improving Relationships
Learn how to improve your relationship by understanding first how your emotions form and influence your Conscious and Subconscious Mind. The article details scientific discoveries concerning the subconscious mind and the mind/body connection which show us how we understand, manage, and can change, our relationship with other people and ourselves.
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Improving Relationships
Relationships are a huge issue in our lives - and throughout our life - relationships with our self and relationships with others. I have written in previous E-Reports about loving yourself, about sending your love and light, about forgiveness and about life's lessons ... all of these are key points in their application to relationships. To have successful relationships know that they begin with yourself. Know that nobody can convince you that you are special or you are loveable unless firstly you believe it yourself. So that's the first decision to make - to be that person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with ... it's a great goal isn't it? ..... to be the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with! You have no choice anyway, so let's make that the starting point.

How about negative people – any tips on how to handle them

When you come in contact with negative people, one good thing to do is just send out good thought waves, send out love for instance (silently in your mind). Remember, whatever you give out, you get back. So if you want love or good relationships and good thoughts then send out love or good relationships or good thoughts. Many people often use negative language and that's fine; some may not know the importance of being more constructive. You just do your own thing, being positive and constructive.  Above all use the PP techniques and remain calm.

How can I cope with the many issues surrounding my separation and divorce

Separation (divorce) is probably one of the hardest thing in life to deal with.  One of the main issues with this is that we're always looking outside ourselves for love (this could mean lack of self esteem, lack of self love, etc...).  Have you heard the saying that you need to give out more of what you want in your life, for example ... "If you want 'more love in your life', then you need to give out more love".  Now you can't give out something unless you've got it to give - so how do you do that?  We need to love ourselves so much that we don't have the need to look outside ourselves for love.  My thought is that partnership will come when we ourselves are ready for it.  And obviously I recognise that we all want it in some way or another.  So what does loving oneself really mean?  It is in fact taking responsibility for ourselves in every way from the way we talk to ourselves, to the food we eat, to the books we read and the TV/movies we watch, to making sure our stress levels are under control - I'm sure you get the picture.   (See page 33 of the book "Student Steps To Success" for quite a list.) If you are aware of these issues, you are already 50% of the way there.  The next 25% is having the desire to do something about it, and the final 25% is actually doing something, which is where some of my work will be of value, especially reading "Piece of Mind" and  working  with goals, remember to ALWAYS keep your self talk positive.

I know that issues involving hatred, anger, guilt, revenge and ............. more may come up for you. Work with whatever comes up - do not push it down! The main way forward is with acceptance, cooperation, unconditional love and forgiveness. Specific meditations are probably the best way - Letting Go Anger (PP9), Inner Peace and Harmony (PP13), Self Worth and Confidence (PP10) and forgiveness (PP6) plus the book "Switch On To Your Inner Strength."

I have been doing creative visualization for the last 5 months very seriously, for finding the kind of partner I would like. I started by imagining a face, which is based on my memory of a person who worked in the same organisation as I did. That's where I am having difficulty.
1. I find it difficult to visualize without him. Should I take this man as my spirtual guide? After all he is the one who leads me to experience the strong feelings of love and joy. 
2. What is the right way to visualize for ideal mate? How wrong is it to imagine a specific face? 

I would suggest that it is NOT a good idea to visualise a specific person's face .... what if you eventually came together with that "face" and all the qualities of goodness, etc... that you wanted were not present. If this face continually comes up for you then consider it to be somebody like a "Guide" and ask for them to help you for the highest good of all concerned.

If you really want to focus on an ideal partner coming to you then first of all, write down all the qualities you want in a partner, including their personality, interests, values, education, etc.... When you have this list, focus on it in your meditation and ask for this ideal person to come into your life in some way or another. When this person does come into your life then you will be able to recognise that this is a possibility of being your ideal partner, because you will recognise qualities that you have "asked for". You could do this in a meditation for a short time each day and ask for the highest good of all concerned that this person comes to you - then let it go and get on with your main meditation.

You may be helped by reading my book "Piece of Mind" (which is also available at most libraries - you can read about it on this website)

Often the group of people I'm mixing with use negative language - does this have any effect on me

Repetition can have an effect because it can go into memory.  If you experience a lot of emotion during the time you hear negative language then it goes straight into memory.  So yes, the answer is that it does effect you - negatively.  One thing you could do is increase your own self esteem by moving away from this group of people.  A way to remain positive when negative language is around you is to actually correct it immediately inside your own mind - in this way you are actually putting up a barrier between the negative language that you hear and what you're allowing in to your subconscious mind.

Some of my family are not believing in the process I'm taking to work towards healing - any advice

Dr Bernie Siegel in the movie "Leap of Faith", advised his group of people who were working with a life-threatening illness, to surround themselves with supportive people.  If that meant excluding some members of their own family, then so be it.  Remember it's the people who are close to you that you will actually take more notice of, so to protect yourself during this taxing time you may need to completely cut yourself from negative people, even if they happen to be a family member.  I'm sorry if this seems to be quite harsh, but when you have recovered, then normal relations can resume.

Will your Relationships Tape assist with problems between my husband and myself

Let me ask you a question first - does both you and your husband want to work towards staying together harmoniously? If the answer is "yes" then the meditation Improving Relationships PP14 (Tape or CD) will definitely assist. There are two exercises to do in the meditation (that you do together - after the meditation) - please do them they are very helpful.

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