I was talking to my friend, Laurence Toltz, a few days ago and he asked me whether I had a summary of my techniques on changing habits, that he could send on to other people.
I realised that I didn't have one. He believed it was important to have this for people who have not done my seminars or read my books, and for those looking at my website for the first time. A summary would help them to more easily understand the concepts.
Laurence and I got together and have produced the following E-Report which explains in a simple way the processes I teach. I thought that this may be of interest to you as a reminder of how my system can help change habits. It also occurred to me that you may like to e-mail it on to friends who you feel could benefit from it.
Helping people to change habits easily, effectively and without stress is what my work is all about. Hundreds of thousands of people now understand the methods I teach through my books, tapes and seminars and their positive stories of success are my reward. The tools and techniques are easy to learn and to apply. Each time people use the "Changing Habits" techniques, they are relaxing and focusing on an issue in their lives they wish to improve.
In our lives many of our habits work well for us, but some cease being helpful and may even work against us, limiting our potential. If we can keep doing what "works for us" and replace habits that are not working for us with habits that do work, we will enjoy a better quality of life.
What I am about to explain is a system to change habits or acquire better habits, which is scientifically based, easy to practise, takes very little time and has been proven by tens of thousands of people to really work. To implement the system there is an online audio tape.
A Four Step System - It's Easy To Do!
Here are the four steps of the system that can change habits, written in a way that I think can be easily understood. (Note that the word "goal" is often interchangeable with "new habit"). You will then find the steps explained in detail.
First Step: Learn to relax and focus in 30 seconds.
Second Step: State your new habit in Positive, Personal and Present Tense language.
Third Step: Visualise the end result of achieving your new habit.
Fourth Step: Emotionalise the new habit - this is a visualisation process that triggers positive emotion and is a key in the system of changing habits.
For those wanting to fast track this system, you could listen to the first 4 tracks of the PPCD 2 - Guided Imagery which will teach you Steps 1 and 4 above.
Detail For The First Step
Learn to relax and focus in 30 seconds. What is the benefit? The quick answer is to get into our memory. Our memory is in our deeper, inner mind where all our habits are stored. When we relax, we go to a brainwave state which opens the door to our memory. This brainwave state is called Alpha. Steps 2, 3 and 4 all happen in the relaxed state, in "memory" (which is where you can create new habits faster). You will learn to relax in 30 seconds using the Peaceful Place CD No. 2 - Guided Imagery.
Detail For The Second Step
State what you want in positive, personal language - and use the present tense. Why is it so necessary to use positive language? Your mind does not process negative commands. For example, it will process "don't forget your umbrella" into "forget your umbrella". It will process "don't worry" into "worry". It ignores the word "don't" and only retains the action words "forget" or "worry".
Also if you use negative self talk or ask yourself negative questions such as "Why me?", for that is what often happens in our mind, then you begin to focus on guilt and negative feelings and this becomes self fulfilling and you will feel more negative.
Let's go even further. In some ways, it seems the job of the deeper inner mind is to keep you where you are now, in your comfort zone. Your inner mind does not desire change, it is comfortable with all your habits irrespective of whether they are good or bad for you. In some ways it is like a computer, it simply accepts the programs you choose to install.
The good news is that you can help towards changing the programs or habits in your inner mind with good, positive supportive self talk such as: when stressed - to achieve relaxation: "I am wonderfully calm and relaxed"; when negative - to achieve being positive: "I enjoy always speaking positively".
In Annex A you'll find a number of common, correctly worded, helpful, positive statements. Note - to change your habits, you need to combine all four steps of the system as one process. This system is about implanting thoughts such as these in your deeper, inner mind.
The Third Step
Visualise the end result of attaining your new habit. (Visualisation can be with any or all of the five senses, plus imagination and talking to yourself). You visualise yourself achieving and feeling good, remembering all the reasons why you want this new habit. Visualising the end result is an extremely important step, for it sets up the feelings of success.
The main points for this step to be carried out successfully are:-
* You visualise with as many senses as you are able to and include imagination and talking to yourself.
* You visualise ...
1. Yourself as you achieve your new habit, and,
2. All the reasons why you want the new habit.
* When visualising the reasons for your new habit, do so as though you have already achieved it ... feeling pleased that you have done so (this means that you are using the Present Tense in this process).
This sets up the good feeling - let this successful feeling flow right through you.
The Fourth Step
Emotionalise your new habit.
Do this by a visualisation process that triggers a strong, positive emotional feeling for you. This is a key part of the "changing habits" system . Why do we use emotion? Strong emotions go directly into memory, which is in the the subconscious mind - emotion is the "language" it understands. Have you ever wondered why you remember all the good and bad things in your life with such clarity and ease? It's because of the emotion triggered by these events. Words, sounds and pictures are the "language" of the conscious mind.
Any kind of good, positive emotion when combined with your positive statement and your visualisation of the success of the new habit, in the relaxed state, will help you achieve it faster. By using an Emotional Anchor you will add to a strong, positive emotional feeling, which is initially generated in your visualisation of success. The four steps need to be repeated in sequence, until your new habit is firmly implanted in your memory. This needs to be continued on a regular basis, so your bad old habits don't return. You will learn about how to build an Emotional Anchor on Track 4 of PPCD2 - Guided Imagery.
Why Is Visualisation So Vital?
There is a very important reason why you need to visualise yourself achieving your new habit. One of the most surprising things about the deeper inner mind (the subconscious mind) is that it cannot tell the difference between a vividly imagined experience and what has really happened to you. The process of visualising in great detail (with all the right conditions as described in Steps 1 to 4) is accepted by the inner mind as a real experience, because it does NOT know the difference between imagination and reality.
After the subconscious mind has accepted your repeated vividly imagined experiences of achieving your new habit, then the subconscious along with the conscious mind, work together to help you to do what needs to be done to achieve your new habit. Just keep practising the four steps and within a short time the new habit you are visualising will start to take over from the old habit you wanted to change. Also - your resultant self talk (the talk that goes on inside your head day-to-day) will be more positive and supportive. Your repeated visualisation of the imagined experience of achieving your new habit is the key to changing deeply ingrained behaviour.
Dispelling Negative Thoughts
Here's a helpful hint to dispel negative thoughts that just pop into our minds. Acknowledge the thought and congratulate yourself on being aware of it (if you are not aware of it then you can't do anything about it).
Next step is to let the thought go. My wife Sandra, just lets out a big breath, blowing the thought away from her. In my seminars, I suggest letting the thought out through the top of your head and then watch it going up and away from you - or onto an escalator that is going away from you.
Or, replace the negative thought by saying your new habit immediately.
A Very Special Offer
As mentioned before, you can access on my website my tape called Peaceful Place CD No. 2 - Guided Imagery which will teach you Steps 1 and 4 above. When you have heard this CD a few times, and worked out your steps 2 and 3, you can put all the steps together so that you can start working on changing your habits.
Thousands of others have used this process to change their habits and improve the quality of their lives. So, at any time, or when you have used and proved the system, please pass on this email (or the link) to others you care about and ask them what they think about it. Most people want new ideas that are easy to understand, don't take much time and most importantly have been proven to work.
Good luck putting these techniques into practice.
All the Best
PS. Please check out the links on my website for success stories in many areas of life. I have been working in this field since 1990 and have personally conducted over 450 seminars - I can assure you these easy-to-learn techniques work fast if you practise them on a regular basis.
Do you know how electricity works? Most people don't! But they still use it. Many may find the following goal statements a bit strange at first, however, as Dr Wayne Dyer suggests ... "Suspend your disbelief". In our modern, technical age, we don't need to know how and why most things work to gain great benefit from them.
What follows are a few good statements said in positive, personal and present tense language which will help change habits fast:-
When stressed - to achieve relaxation: "I am wonderfully calm and relaxed".
When negative - to achieve being positive: "I enjoy always speaking positively".
When negative and lacking self confidence: "I am, and I love being, a positive, self confident person".
Some useful money habits: "I invest 10% of all I earn for long term growth."; "I am abundant as I follow a system to retire my debts and increase my savings."; "I put my quality of life ahead of spending."; (Check out www.simpleliving.net/ymoyl/fom-about-summary.asp and then find the link that takes you to the summary of the book Your Money or Your Life or YMOYL - by Dominquez and Robin).
To stop smoking: "I have healthy lungs, clean breath and I save more money."
For family relationships: "I get great enjoyment as I spend at least one hour each day with my family".
Achieving a degree: "I easily achieve credits in my economics degree in November 2004".
A good study habit: "I love studying in Alpha for one hour each day".
For releasing weight (allow 1 kilogram per week) and do this with PP CD No. 8: "I love weighing 84 kilos by July 2010".
A small percentage of things we do delivers outcomes we value most: "I enjoy taking daily, positive action on the few things that deliver the most value outcomes in my life". (Check out www.the8020principle.com/main.Asp?Page=8020psum for a summary of The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch).
Achieving as a batsman: "I easily stay focused as I amass the runs I need".
For piano: "I easily play perfect scales".
For an athlete: "I enjoy achieving my personal best by running 100 metres in ?? seconds".
Since using your techniques I have made a "career move". I am no longer the harassed mother at the supermarket, come on you've all seen me! I am now the assertive, positive listener, creating a happy environment. My new career has taken on a new dimension, I am the "Supermum" I want to be, not the one society expects me to be. I am now responding to my inner needs and expectations not society's - mine are realistic goals set by me - I can only succeed.
Primarily we teach by our actions, not words; by using the relaxation methods I am enriching my life and the lives of my children. I have come to realise how powerful positive parenting can be. My goal was so high it wasn't immediately evident. I didn't even think I had one, but it was sitting there waiting for me to grow into it. With the help of your seminar I have made my first step towards that goal by helping my children be at peace with themselves and each other. Imagine if we could create a generation, a world, to become at peace with themselves and each other, and we are all capable of that, now that's an incredibly powerful thought. My latest emotion of joy is now locked into my subconscious when my 3 year old son said: "Mummy I like you!" I felt a great peace spread through me, suddenly I knew I already had what I was looking for and with my new found positive approach I could really start to enjoy it.
The system is so easy. On the weekend there were many things that I had already discussed/learnt before, but you have brought the whole thing together in a systematic and easy to use way. As someone who has a PhD in science and someone who has been a corporate and small business manager and someone who has been exposed over many years to the metaphysical, let me say that you did a brilliant job of pulling all these elements together in an easily useable and non-threatening way.
I also appreciate the high and professional way you use your training and marketing.
All the best. I hope many, many more people accept your ideas. Thanks, TP, Vic.
Following the seminar I realised Sandy's techniques have become automatic for me. I don't think about them. I was approximately 6 months down my healing journey when I discovered Sandy's book "Piece of Mind". Sandy's system demonstrated how I could take control and make a huge impact on my recovery.
Attending the CALM Life Skills Seminar was a turning point for me as the techniques learned gave me the tools to help myself in all facets of my life. When faced with survival or not, there was a strong resolve to invest the time practicing my Peaceful Place (PP). It is only now that I have realised I don't think about going to my PP, I just automatically do it.
I go to my PP while waiting for appointments, prior to encountering new situations, making important telephone calls, to remain centred and be able to see situations as they are and not become caught up in the emotion of the event, prior to meditation, prayer and any activity requiring total concentration, every chance I have to just sit, and every night before going to sleep. As I now do it automatically it doesn't seem much. It has maximized my body's natural healing energies, has had an enormous impact on my coping skills, energy levels and my health and well-being. It is a major factor in me being as well as I am today.
The Forgiveness tape is so powerful. When next I met the person I forgave it was unbelievable. The atmosphere was so different. I was received as a long lost friend and our relationship has not looked back. What a relief, yet so easy thanks to Sandy's tapes.
All the very best for practicing your PP. Invest the time and effort and it will become automatic and life changing. Thank you Sandy for sharing your wonderful techniques. WG, ACT.