More on Emotional Hurt
Each person has their own inventory of emotional hurts. Some of those hurts can be massive traumas that would obviously be understandable to anyone in their circle of friends. Others can be tiny slights, or rude remarks or small incidents which happened years ago and which would hardly be understandable as a hurt to an outside observer. The thing that has caused the emotional hurt may be so small, may be so incidental to the main game of life, that you are embarrassed to even admit that it is hurting you. In many cultures the problem of these small hurts is made worse by the fact that we are supposed to keep a lid on our emotions. Between the sexes this problem is worse for men, they are supposed to be strong, to have a stiff upper lip and not to be bothered by small things.
The reason why it is important to release hurt is that hurt can nag and nag at you until it gets out of all proportion and is the only thing you can think about. Think of a pin pressing firmly against the soft skin of your toe. Logically the actual quantity of hurt that is in that pressure must be less than many other forms of hurt you have experienced in your life. However when it comes to hurt, logic often counts for little. When a pin is pressing into your flesh it is the only thing you can think about. So it is with all forms of hurt and this is why it must be released. If the mind is focused on the hurt then it can't be focused on the main game. Often we can confuse releasing hurt with the deeper need of "letting go". This is a subject that I have covered below as "Acceptance and Letting go" in a previous E-Report. The death of a loved one for example is a much deeper issue which needs addressing in a special way.
The Language – Release Hurt
Notice the language used “releasing” hurt. When I was using the guided imagery and self talk process to “lose” weight as a means to prove (or not) that this method worked (back in 1981), I became aware of our powerful self talk. Remember we talk to ourselves at least 50,000 times per day. If anyone “loses” anything in their life what do they want to do about it? That's right – get it back! If we lose weight .... the same thing happens. The weight loss industry is self perpetuating – lose a couple of kilos, and then get it back. The weight release industry however is successful. I like the word “release” and I believe it fits well into releasing hurt, that is, the hurt that's in the pain.
Hurt can be released during the relaxed state or in meditation. You can use the Peaceful Place method to achieve complete relaxation. There you can identify the things that hurt you and then release them.
Learning From Your Pain
In many circumstances we can use the opportunity to learn from our pain and I suggest that you do this in meditation. (Some of the following words are actually in my active meditation CD Peaceful Place No 3 – Releasing Hurt). It may seem to fall under the category of "na-na-nu-nu" however this is a technique that can work well.
You scan your body to locate your pain you and then bless it saying “pain I am about to learn something from you”. And so you ask your pain some questions, saying to it: “What is it that you have to tell me? What do I learn from having you around?” Then listen for the answer and once again you ask pain: “Is there something I am not doing as a result of your presence?” Listen again as pain answers. You ask pain once again: “Do you have any messages for me pain?” Again pain answers and now you thank the pain for being around and say “Thank you pain – I have learned from you and I know that I can let go the hurt that's around you”.
The Method I Recommend
Replace the hurt with a colour – whatever colour comes to your mind. Have that colour replace the hurt ... see it, feel it ... know that all the hurt is in this colour; the colour represents, and is, the hurt. You take the colour up through your body. It may start at your legs, and you'd move it up through your legs, through your buttocks, through your back, and up through your neck ... and as it comes up through your head you prepare to release it out through the crown of your head ... imagine and feel the colour coming out through the crown of your head ... that's the hurt coming out of your body, going up through your head. You observe and feel the hurt travelling through your body, going out through your head and as it goes out through your head you feel and see the intensity of the colour, the hurt, decreasing and moving away. In the distance you notice another colour, a beautiful colour – any colour that comes to you. This colour you now bring into your body because it represents healing and upliftment. Your special colour comes towards you, it's getting bigger and bigger and of course the hurt, the colour representing hurt, is moving further away from you and that's getting smaller and smaller. Your hurt is decreasing. Your colour representing healing is getting bigger and bigger ... you let that beautiful colour into the top of your head and feel it coming down right through your body, it goes to the area where it's most needed down through your body, permeating and filtering into every cell ... you feel wonderful. This colour replaces the hurt and you feel wonderful throughout your whole body. You hold that healing feeling throughout your whole body.
A personal experience
Quite a while ago I was at a barbeque with my family. During the barbeque I burnt myself on my wrist. My first reaction was to swear. At the same time my kids were yelling to me "Peaceful Place Dad". I immediately went to my Peaceful Place. The burn was on the inside of my wrist and it was hurting like mad. I put a colour on the hurt and I took the colour up my arm into my shoulders, into my neck, up into my head and out through the top of my head. I remember distinctly that the colour was red. I watched this colour going out of the top of my head, (and you may know that I only visualise by imagination and talking to myself), going away from me. Then I imagined a healing colour coming into me. The colour that came to me was purple. I brought this purple colour towards me as the red colour was going away from me. Then the purple colour entered the top of my head and came right down through my body. I let it go all the way through my body and then settled it back to my wrist. Here, I imagined healing going on in my wrist. You know what was absolutely amazing (and it shouldn't be amazing), was that I never had a blister. It was a deep burn, I had scabs of course but had no pain at all and the whole burn healed itself in an extraordinarily quick time. I guess that the whole process took about 3 minutes. Since this time I have investigated burns and found that if one immediately take control of the area of the burn with our mind that it will help enormously with the healing.
So, remember that when you practise the meditation to become familiar with it, you can then do it very quickly (in your own mind, without the CD) so that you can use it for immediate response, such as to prevent a migraine coming on as soon as you recognise the telltale symptoms.
All the best
Here is a wonderful story about Cathy which really illustrates releasing hurt using the power of pretence when tapping your Inner Strength – or, if you like – illustrates the fact that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination or reality. Just pretending something will work is enough – contrary to many peoples' opinion – you do not have to believe that the techniques work, just pretend that they work to have it work in your life. Cathy has been an inspiration to many people suffering from depression. Thanks Cathy for letting me share your inner strength.
Cathy attended the seminar and told me that she had not come for herself but had come totally for her mother who was so ill that she was unable to attend herself. At the end of the seminar I asked her how things were and she told me she didn't care what happened to her, even if a truck ran over her on the way home. She told me she had clinical depression and she was stuck with it. She had come here only to see what she could do for her mother, who had cancer. When she got home she started to teach her mother what to do and what she had learnt.
Very soon after that Catherine had to have a mammogram and the result wasn't good. She was told she had a big lump in her left breast and had to go into hospital in three days time.
She asked if it would hurt because she had a low pain tolerance and feared pain. They said it would. She would have to have a wire inserted into the breast, to the lump, without anaesthetic so that the doctor could follow it to the lump. The wire had to penetrate about three inches. Once the lump was located Cathy would receive an anaesthetic. She thought she may as well try the Peaceful Place method – even though she didn't believe it would work for her. She had nothing to lose.
For the next few days, a hundred times each day, she visualised that the wire was inserted easily and painlessly, just like a spoon into yoghurt and affirmed “this feels great”. She imagined the lump was cut out painlessly, with a successful outcome. After she had done the visualisation for about a day she thought, “I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to put all my sadness, pain, injustice, anger and bitterness that led to my depression, into this lump and as the lump gets cut out it's going to free me of all my depression and I'm going to feel absolutely fantastic.”
So it all happened as she visualised. It was not, however, until the wire was painlessly inserted did Catherine actually believe. BUT, before that moment, she pretended really well. When the wire was inserted it didn't hurt at all and the lump turned out to be benign.
Not only that, but she came to another one of my seminars after that. She was a different woman, glowing, happy, the depression completely gone! She said, “I've been diagnosed as having clinical depression for years, but now it's worked so well for me. I know how powerful it is and I'm working with the Peaceful Place techniques all the time. It's just a question of attitude and how you talk to yourself.” Cathy NSW
Here is another success story from Jack who has now moved on from this world.
When I was conducting a seminar in Melbourne some years ago now, one participant, Jack who was 71 years old was there and his loud voice boomed out: “This stuff doesn't work, what are you talking about, I didn't come here for this.” He stood up a few times and said this sort of thing so I asked him “Hey Jack why are you here?” He said “I'm here for pain. I've had prostate pain for 18 months and that's what I've come for.” I told him that I would be speaking about that the next day. So the next day after we did the pain meditation Jack stood up even before I was able to take control again and he boomed as he walked to the centre of the floor: “Well I've got an announcement to make. For the first time in 18 months I've got no pain.” Absolutely amazing, Jack was as happy as a lark and he took notice of the rest of the seminar. Another thing that happened was that Jack went to his doctor about a month after the first seminar and asked his doctor to take his pulse rate, which the doctor did. Then Jack asked him to take it again and this time the doctor said it was lower. He also did this with his blood pressure. The doctor was amazed and asked him what he was doing. Jack told him - the doctor thought it was great and now there are no more prescriptions! When Jack came back to do the seminar with his wife he shared all this with us and the fact that he had also taught his wife how to get rid of migraines – thanks for sharing this Jack! Jack Vic
I'd like to thank you for introducing me to my Peaceful Place where I've learnt so much about myself. I still have a long way to go but I'm determined to achieve my goals which you have helped me set. As a chronic migraine sufferer the seminar was valuable in helping me to control them. I'm proud to say I have taken only 1/3 of? the painkillers I used to and I hope to stop altogether. D.P. NSW