Advice given to Dr Adeline Yen Mah
Here is the advice given to Adeline in a letter from her Aunt Baba in China nearly half a century ago:
In the long run, what we think does matter (wrote my Aunt). In fact, every idea we profess, and every action we undertake influences the formation of our own character. In the evolution of the person that becomes you, a difference of opinion with your parents should not be perceived as heresy, but as an opportunity for your own individual growth and development.
All of us are ruled by ideas. They lay the scaffolding on which we base our actions. At the end of the day, a person’s character is made or unmade by the intentions behind her behaviour. If you should tolerate an evil deed by looking the other way, you have already compromised your integrity even though you may think you have remained innocent and uninvolved. Eventually, a deception that you have secretly condoned in the hidden recesses of your mind will be routinely manifested by you in public without a second thought.
It is true that evil has become so prevalent and so atrocious that our senses are numbed. When we see unwanted baby girls wrapped in newspapers abandoned on the streets we are confused as to what to do. Most people simply put on a cloak of indifference and walk by with averted eyes, because ignoring what’s going on and taking no action feels more comfortable, seems the easiest way.
Is there a “Price Tag” for Neglect?
But there is a price attached to this neglect which will eventually be extracted. By allowing corruption we will gradually form a callus over our own conscience and come to resemble the transgressors whose crookedness we have overlooked.
Have you ever thought to yourself, What is the purpose of life? What makes me happy? Is it money? Fame? A harmonious marriage? Good friends? Longevity?
I tell you happiness is not the result of a sudden stroke of good luck such as making a big win at the “mah jong” table. Even if you did make such a win, the surge of elation would probably only last for a few days but you would soon get used to your new status. And everything would gradually settle down as before.
Nor is happiness dependent on fortune, fame or longevity. The rich and famous are not necessarily happier than you or me; whereas longevity without good health is a fate worse than death.
Adeline then offers her own condensed recipe for happiness as: “… health, congenial relationships, gainful employment and appreciation of life’s blessings.”
A Person’s Character
All of this got me thinking about a person’s character …. What exactly does it mean to have a “good character” and does everybody agree on the parameters? Can we improve our character if we perceive what we believe to be defects? I believe it is our choice and that we can all become a person of good character. Sometimes we need strong guidelines and encouragement.
Some dictionary definitions I found of “character” are:
Oxford: Moral strength, back-bone, reputation, good reputation; description of person’s qualities; testimonial; status.
Macquarie: The sum of qualities that sets one person or thing apart from others; the moral quality of a person or people; good moral quality or standing; the idea held of a person’s character, either good or bad.
Everybody has character – whether considered good or bad. There are many qualities that constitute a good character, along with the obvious ones of honesty, integrity, morality, compassion, forgiveness, a sense of justice, discretion, generosity, hospitality, gratefulness, graciousness, patience, respect, responsibility, wisdom, self control. There could be many others, and you may have other qualities that you consider to be important to include in this list.
Our true character is who we really are when nobody is watching, whereas reputation is what you project to others and what others think of us. When people express their thoughts and opinions they are really revealing aspects of their character.
Abraham Lincoln said: “Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.”
He also said: “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”
And here is a quote I found from W. Somerset Maugham: “When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character.”
Happiness comes from the journey towards your Goal
It is the journey that counts even more than the destination.
By using our own Chi – the Chinese word for ‘life-force’ – we can Create Happiness Intentionally and hence the name of the seminar – the CHI Seminar. Click this link to read what some well known people including Ita Buttrose, Dr Denis Waitley, Allan Pease, Jim Rohn and more have said about my book “Creating Happiness Intentionally”. Read their testimonials.
The CHI Seminar is about determining and working towards your Life's Purpose Now. By doing this you will bring about true Balance and Harmony in your life, true happiness, whilst you strive towards your goals. Often many of life's challenges block the way and need to be resolved when working towards your Life's Purpose. This CHI Seminar will show you how to do it and have fun too.
Get “On Track” With Your Life
The essence of the CHI Seminar is about really getting on track with your life so that you can actually live your dreams – using the powerful CALM mind techniques to discover the main purpose of your life, to decide on goals that support you in all areas of your life, and to make sure that your values, the things that drive you, truly support those goals. This knowledge is a potent force that will lead you towards the life you desire.
The CHI Seminar is an inspiring and exciting life adventure. Can you imagine being able to talk about anything you wish, in the safe and supportive company of like-minded people, and you know that you are in the presence of love and true acceptance? CHI attracts ordinary people like you and me who are dedicated to living an extraordinary life. Previous participants have gained really wonderful insights into themselves and their lives, and the group energy and friendship that is developed is incredibly powerful. I know that the seminar will help you to totally take control of your life – to create your happiness intentionally.
It is truly a blessing to be a part of the amazing growth and personal breakthroughs that occur.
There are 10 days remaining to make the decision that could change your life forever, and attend the BALI CHI from Jun 24 to 1 Jul. It’s a special venue for a special seminar. Send an email now and I will call you – see below.
So Jesh, are you sick and tired of fumbling through life? You know that things can be so much better. This is your chance to grab life with both hands and take it where you want it to go. In a few short days you can start enjoying working towards all the things you've always wanted – and remember, happiness comes from moving towards the goal.
All the best,
"Your gift from God is your potential – Your gift to God is to use it."
Thank you for your Birthday wishes. Yes things are going great, much better than where I was last November with doing your course and I can see continual improvement ahead. There are many goals I am still working on, I find my vision board that I wake up to every day an inspiration. From you opening up my awareness of how the mind works. I managed to get off my prescribed medication for PTSD and depression, which was really hard work, but I am so glad I did, peaceful place really came in handy, during those difficult times. WS NSW
Thanks for the email and birthday wishes . I hope you are well and happy. I remember when I last saw you at the CHI Seminar I was muddling along with faltering health and money issues in a poxy rented house and really wasn't too happy... Things have improved and yes I do use my emotional anchor and Peaceful Place.
We're back in our own home now, work's improved too. We have all we need, have a trip to US planned in a months time and are pretty happy all round, health is ok (under control) too. So thanks to your techniques I'm doing ok. And I do say thanks to you and having been involved with a lot of different treatments, courses and things, both good and bad I still rate calm as the most helpful, down to earth system which works very well for me.
I really do say a big thank you and recommend your services when the situation warrants.With all my very best wishes PM NSW