I'm having hard time setting my goals. My husband is now diagnosed with cancer.

I'm having hard time setting my goals. My husband is now diagnosed with cancer. Before this happened my goals were letting go anger, releasing weight and forgetting about pain in my broken leg. Now, I can't set my goal to be healing from cancer because I'm not the one suffering from cancer. I wonder if making my goal as self discipline or self control or something like that is valuable? Maybe in this way I won't fall apart emotionally as I'm going through the situation I have now. But I wonder if they are not specific enough to have as a goal....What I'm doing right now is meditation to help with stress in my confused state. Could you please advise me what to do?

The first thing is to look after yourself so that you can help your husband. This means that you must be totally relaxed, focused, positive, confident and supportive. You cannot do your husband's goals for him. Much as you want him to get better, he is the one that has to do "the work". All you can do is support, encourage and be really positive about his recovery. So I'll address your goals first.

The Meditation - PP3 - Relasing Hurt, will address the pain in your leg. The Meditation PP9 - Letting Go Anger, will address the anger issue. I would tend to not concentrate on weight release right now - do this later. By doing these 2 tapes (or CDs) on alternate days, you will also address relaxation and help with the anxiety in your life. This will also help with being emotionally strong and stable. One goal for you to work on as outlined in the book "Piece of Mind" could be ... "I am a positive, confident, stable person, supporting my husband effectively." And then of course you would be visualising all the situations that you find yourself in - being able to show confidence, stability, strength, etc...

Now, as to your husband. Get him to read "Piece of Mind" first and understand it. Get him to go to my website and read the paper on healing, which includes some testimonials. The link is: http://www.calm.com.au/pages/02cancer.shtml 

The next step is for him to read the book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" which covers the topic of cancer and what you can do with your mind. And then get the tape (or CD) PP4 - Healing Yourself. This one should be done at least twice a day.

You could start investigating other material in this area, particularly by Dr. Bernie Siegel - "Love, Medicine & Miracles", "Peace, Love & Healing", etc... 

It is important to get onto a good diet and probably some immune-strengthening supplementation. He should be under a good, supportive doctor who indeed also supports and monitors him in doing every alternative therapy that he can. The main thing is that hope can heal - hope is a "live" message (hopelessness is a "die" message). So being very positive about the illness and looking at it as being like a "Re-set button" - another challenge in life (albeit a big one). All this is described in "Switch On to Your Inner Strength". I've also attached a Protocol (program for people with cancer to follow).

  Related Videos