Healing past hurts

Story from M.M.  NZ

     I am a teacher who attended your two day seminar a while ago and found it tremendously beneficial. I have done considerable research on the wonders of the human brain myself and wrote my MA thesis on 'How the Right Brain is Neglected in Education Today'. Never-the-less I learned so much more from you. Recently I went to a teacher's seminar in Prague on 'Using the Latest Brain Research in Education', taken by Dr Pat Wolfe. You have already covered most of what she taught in your book, 'Students Steps to Success' which I read this weekend and feel as if I had just had a Sandy MacGregor Refresher course!
     I have shared your stories and teachings with many of my students and many of my friends, including two who are professional counsellors. I want you to know that I use my Peaceful Place very frequently, it helps me with stress, emotional pain, fear and guilt. It helped me to heal from a serious ski injury, from arthritis of the shoulder and from a recent bout of chest 'flu.
     I wanted to tell you - and you may use it in your newsletter if you wish - something remarkable, which happened to me on the second day of your seminar. To give a little background information - I am the eldest child of a very dysfunctional family, riddled with addiction and alcoholism for generations. I married an alcoholic and we had years of struggle until we both found Alcoholics Anonymous. My mother was a martyr, who died a few years ago - I had a lot of unresolved anger towards her. One of my obsessions in life was to be the perfect parent, my parents never were, and to stop the cycles of addiction that have gone on so long in my family. I am especially fearful that my children will become alcoholics and addicts (and the pain will start all over again) despite all the effort I have gone to, to stop the crippling messages and dysfunction in my family, and to lead positive, empowering lifestyles filled with unconditional love!
     When we did the last meditation session in your seminar, my aim was to 'let my children go' (they are 21 and 24 years old!) and not to worry about them like I do (they really are very good and very successful in their lives at this stage!) However before we began that last session - with the story about the woman dying of cancer, as her mother had before her, (and her husband was insisting she see a doctor to help her heal herself) - she went off to the cemetery all night to speak with her dead parents - this really struck a chord with me.  I realised that I needed to work on forgiving my mother (I had already had the opportunity to forgive my father for his terrible rages, before he died.)
     Anyway, in our meditation session with you, instead of working on letting my children go as I had planned, I communicated with my mother. I finally accepted that she had done the best she could with where she was at, at the time and I forgave her for all the hurt that I had felt in our relationship. No sooner had I done that, than I realised that I too have always done the best I could as a parent and I can forgive myself for my perceived failures as a mother. Having done that I could then 'let my children go', because it is no longer necessary for me to hold onto them to 'fix' the damage I may have incurred! What was so surprising to me was that it all fell together like dominoes in that one meditation session!
     Shortly afterwards, on my mother's birthday, I felt her come and stand beside me in the forest and acknowledge the forgiveness. I don't know if all that I have written here makes sense to you, but thank you very much anyway Sandy, and I hope that I have the opportunity to meet with you again as I admire and agree with what you do. I will keep an eye on when and where your seminars occur and I will try and attend them again.