I recently attended your CALM Life Skills Seminar and bought the book

I recently attended your CALM Life Skills Seminar and bought the book "Students Steps To Success". My 11 yr old ADHD son has difficulty in making friends and thus finds himself becoming the "class clown" to attract attention. He is fine with one kid at a time but in a group he demands attention and puts people off. Other children reject, bully and humiliate him in these circumstances and he now has a belief system that he is unlikeable and will be isolated for the rest of his life. Can he have a goal about friends?

Regarding your son having a goal about having friends - it's a good goal and yes of course it does depend on other people being willing to be a friend. Remember the statement: "You put out for what you want". In other words, if you want more love in your life ... you give out love (in the face of difficulty - which of course can be challenging). In your son's case, he is going to need to hold the focus in the goal of having a couple of friends and at the same time he will need to be very friendly. Use what he is good at, that is "he is fine with one kid at a time" - expand this to include two and three friends - the visualisation process is good to use. This means he will need to do everything that a good friend does. Have a chat to him about this and see if you can reason with him about the demanding behaviour that at the moment he does exhibit. Teach him about goals, visualisation and positive self talk. All of this is in the book you bought "Students Steps To Success". There are no guarantees in life, but we do the best that we can do.

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